  Imperial Chicken You need: * some boneless skinless chicken breasts (4 is good, but whatever) * 1 1/2 to 2 cups of breadcrumbs (put some slices of bread in the oven on 250 for about 20-30 minutes if you need to make them) * Parmesan cheese, maybe 1/2 a cup - here's where I'm going to get picky on your ass. Get some decent Parmesan, if you can. That powdered shit just isn't going to cut it. Di Giorno Parmesan, which can be found in most deli cases by the other cheese, is pretty good for this recipe. Any actually-grated Parmesan will do. * spices like oregano, basil, parsley (Italian Seasoning works fine) * a stick of butter or margarine (1/2 cup) * some garlic - garlic powder works ok, I guess, if you're a total loser, but aspire to something better and get real garlic...either pre-minced in a jar or fresh. * juice of half a lemon (dude, if you don't have this, don't panic) * Some milk (or mayonnaise, or both) * paprika (if you don't have this, don't panic either) In some kind of container or bowl, mix together about a cup and a half to two cups of bread crumbs with a big handful of Parmesan cheese, a bunch of spices (you've got to do some individual thinking here), salt and pepper to taste.
Set aside for a bit. In the interim, melt the stick of butter with the garlic and juice of half a lemon (i.e. cut a small lemon in half, rid yourself of most of the seeds, squeeze actual lemon over the small saucepan into the butter & garlic).
If you don't have a lemon, things will turn out all right anyway. Get out the chicken breasts. Run them under the kitchen faucet a few seconds and dry them with a paper towel. Then, dunk them in the milk (a mixture of milk and a couple of tbsp of mayo works well for better cohesion, or you can just put some mayo, but they'll be a little greasier). For gods sake, dunk them in something so the breadcrumbs will stick. After dunking them or mayo-ing them, roll them in the bread crumb mixture. Lay in a 13x9 baking pan (which will fit a maximum of 5 large chicken breasts). Repeat until all chicken breasts are breaded and laid. When breasts are arranged in the pan, dump the remaining breadcrumb mixture over them evenly. Drizzle the butter/garlic/lemon crap over the breaded chicken breasts evenly.
Throw some more parmesan cheese over the top of it all. Sprinkle with paprika. If you don't have paprika, it's clearly not going to matter. Do without, if you must. Put the baking dish with the chicken, etc. in it into the oven, which is set to 350 degrees, for about 40 minutes. After that, take everything out of the oven and serve with a salad or rice or both or something. Get fat. Be happy. 
