  Let's hear it for urlLink Mott Cromby again Mustard and Relish Deviled Eggs All you need for this delectable loser snack is 3 or 4 or 5 eggs, some ordinary yellow mustard, and relish.
Mustard and relish, as you know, never go bad - which is why everyone always seems to have a partially used container of each in the fridge! Boil the eggs for as long as you're supposed to boil them to make hard-boiled eggs. This might be 3-4 minutes, or it might be more like 8-10. If you're not sure, ask someone else in the house or, as a last resort, call Mom. (Warning: if your Mom is the type to worry about the loserish tendecies of offspring with chronically bare refrigerators, you might not want to bother her.
But if you're certain your Mom doesn't give a crap, call her, because it's sort of a prerequiste even among the most deliquent Moms to know this sort of stuff. ) So you've got your hard-boiled eggs. Cool them by dumping out the boiling water and replacing with cold water from the tap. Then de-shell them the best you can. There's an art to this. Enough said. Once the eggs are peeled, cut them in half and remove each portion of yolk with a teaspoon. Put the naked yolks in a bowl, the peeled half-whites on a paper plate, and let everything cool in the fridge for a while.
Go drink another beer. Or four. Later, crumble the cooled yolks in the bowl with a fork, stirring in quantities of mustard and relish to taste, until you have a sickly-looking greenish yellow paste. Apply the paste to the yolkless concavites of the egg whites and voila! They're not yolkless anymore! Eat and think to yourself how it's not half-bad. This more or less tasty snack that can, as always, be considerably livened up by snapping on your metaphorical beer-goggles. (Note: If you've used some kind of fancy mustard, like Grey Poupon, you are way ahead of the game.
Sweet relish or dill works equally well. That other kind of relish with the bits of red stuff in it works really well. And if you're entertaining, rolling the egg whites in paprika or chili powder can impart a measure of credibility, while keeping the snack comfortably within the parameters of loserdom.
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