  I can't adequately explain the space I'm in right now but it's different from any space I've been in before. My space ... my me ... remains... but a new and different me has slipped underneath. The me I knew so well is no longer my skin. It's a garment, a fabric, covering my new skin. My new skin is a terrain of new sensations of pain and pleasure. Each sensation is etched carefully, exactly, powerfully within me. How long has this been going on?
It's come slowly... the experience of visceral feelings leading to a crescendo, a wave of intense emotion from somewhere inside me that I didn't know existed... home to years of pent up love, anger, pain, ecstasy, frustration, hope, etc. And now, in the midst of normal daily happenings I experience sharp, crystal clear visions of feeling. Moments of intense passion, occasional waves of deep sadness, bright seconds of pure joy. They are the sharp, bright colors of the brain on E... juxtaposed with everyday vision. Whenever one of these transcendent moments occurs, I reach for it. I've spent my life mastering feelings... emotions... thoughts... actions... living in tight control. Now, the rising wave asks me to let go and ride... live the feeling. And so, in those moments words cut deep... songs soothe... lyrics become oracles.
Sex becomes the satiation of an animal thirst for lips, skin, breath, connection. Why am I experiencing this now? I think I'm nearing an inflection point... a time of personal, internal change... a renewing of life... and something else that I can't yet quite grasp. It's a man... but even as I speak I don't know who it is or how fast he's approaching me. But I feel him approaching and I'm waiting for him and I'm waiting for this new skin to urlLink tra nsf urlLink orm me . 
