  it was only when he let me go did i realize how much i really, really, really, really love him. it was like a slap on the face.
a big slap at that. i thought i could live without him. i thought i could carry on. yes, i'd still live. besides, i have to. but there would be nothing anymore. nothing but emptiness. a void so great it would be impossible not to feel it, to ignore it.
i was so stupid and childish and insecure and demanding. i wanted to hug him, have him in my arms, say sorry, tell him that we would work it out, it would be ok, we would be ok. but before i knew it, he was letting me go. and i didn't want him to let me go. but he already did. now what? 
