  Where have I been that I haven't updated my blog in a day and a half. Well let me tell you. I have been in ICU...yup ICU, now let me explain how I got here as best as I can piece it together.
It started when Dr. Aziz came to replace my PEG tube (feeding tube) with a Button (much smaller device that is less intrusive and easier to live with). Well when Aziz yanked out the tube it hurt like a bitch and I was starting to think that something went wrong. I should have known when he was looking at the directions on the box on how to insert the damn thing that he probably wasn't qualified to do it.
Well he jammed the new one in there and I knew it wasn't in my stomach and I said something, plus it was really hurting like a bitch. I told him it didn't feel right and he dismissed it and said it was fine. Later that evening I was getting ready for bed and they came to hook me up for tube feeding. We probably got only a few CC's in but I don't really know for sure because I was pretty out of it all.
I started screaming because it hurt really really bad. Now we get to the point where I have very little recollection of what happened. The must have given me more Dilauded because of the pain...or at least one of the residents did. I remember puking all over the place, then the next thing I know I am coming to in the ICU with a re-breather oxygen mask on.
So basically I think I od'd without any direct action from me to make it happen. Go figure. Yesterday I went and had to get a CT scan to see where the tube was and they had to put some contrast in it, the gave me something down there for pain and it worked somewhat well because I didn't scream out in pain as I had earlier when my nurse was just trying to push a little air into it to see if she could hear it in my stomach (I about jumped off the bed when she did that). They got the contrast in and it turns out I was right. It was just dangling in my gut and anything that was put through it went into my body cavity and not the stomach like it was supposed to.
Later another GI doc came up and removed it...it hurt but at least it was out. Now everything is hurting worse than before and it hurst to breath even because of the gut pain. I think there is something in there that shouldn't be. The kicker is though that Dr. Weinburg doesn't want me to have anymore IV pain meds because I od'd. Even though I had no control over it, and it wasn't like I scored some bad heroin, they OD'd me and now I have to pay the price in pain for it. He has me on Oxycodone and Oxycontin, the codone is for "breakout" pain, the contin is longer lasting.
Problem is that neither is actually enough to numb the pain. I would need a lot more of it more frequently to get the same relief as a small dose of just about any IV pain med. Again let me stess I am in pain because someone fucked up and they won't give me pain meds that work because someone else fucked up.
I had been fighting for a long time to get any kind of pain med and then just like that, something that I did not do, I get the relief taken away. They are going to do another CT scan to see if something else is damaged. I have this feeling that something else is broken down there. This kind of pain isn't just normal belly pain, this is "something is broke you dumb fuck" kinda pain. Even if they don't find anything it won't matter, they aren't going to get me on the right pain meds anyway.
I had been trying to keep myself from looking like a pain med seeker so I have been very judicious about asking for meds even though I am in a lot of pain, now it is going to be even worse because now I have an OD on my charts. Again someone else fucks up and I pay. Fuckin a, fuckin a... 
