  usually, when i'm dreaming, there's always a part of me that knows i'm dreaming. lately, i'm dreaming, and i no longer know whether or not what's going on is reality or just my sleeping subconscious.
this makes every night rather terrifying, especially because my mind never lets anything good happen to me whilst in dreamland. i wake up having to give myself a pep talk, and my pep talks are usually along the lines of, "alright, you're okay, nothing like that has occurred in your life... yet. " i would have made a very poor cheerleader. "go team! although don't waste too much energy, because you're probably not going to win anyhow!!
whoo! " insert leg kicks. optimism is an acquired outlook on life. it's like bleu cheese- you have to practice. although i never had to practice with bleu cheese; i liked it the first time i tried it. so maybe optimism is more like horse radish. that would really be a damn shame because i have vowed to never try horse radish again, after the horse radish incident of '89. i thought that it was cheese, and so i slathered a whole bunch of it onto a cracker and proceeded to pop the cracker into my mouth.
imagine my surprise when i found out it was not cheese on my cracker, but horse radish- or, as it is also known as, pureed shit. i drank four glasses of water afterwards, but the taste remained for approximately twelve years. anyhow, i started this post with the intentions to share my nightmare. now it seems that i've changed my mind. 
