  The past is felt both to impose an obligation and to hold out an assurance; we must not fall below the standards our fathers set us, and because we are their sons there is good hope we shall not.
CS Lewis  The Four Loves I spoke to my Dad on the phone today its one of the worst things about being down here, the physical reality that Im not up there.
That Im not up there nearly as much as I should be I cant say how special it would have been to wake up this morning, go downstairs and have a cup of coffee with my father, catch a round of golf with him this afternoon or help him plant the tomatoes my father is my hero, its not really supposed to work that way, your supposed to love your parents, but the older you get the more your supposed to see them as contemporaries, equals, humans. The older I get the more mythical my old man becomes, I forget the bad things, the mistakes he made, the hard times we went through, and in my eyes he can do no wrong.
I think about the things he did when he was my age, raising two kids, married, schlubbing out some blue collar job to provide for his family. And I wonder if I could do it, if Ill ever be half the man he was. Then once in awhile Ill do something, grab someone and ask if I can pray with them, underline huge chunks in my Bible, raise my hands in worship, and Ill remind myself of him.
And those are the only times Im truly proud of who I am 
