  Milli got to see the urlLink Beastie Boys urlLink perform live last week. But I'm not jealous, because I got to watch them perform on urlLink MTV just a few minutes ago. They were on some sort of special show commemorating the release of urlLink "To the Five Boroughs. " The show's host, whom I've never seen on MTV before, was clearly stoked about it. He kept making little comments and puns related to Beastie Boys lyrics, but in a show-offy way, like he really thought he was being clever.
At one point, he was asking them a question about something they said in an interview in 1989, and he added helpfully, "That was the Paul's Boutique era. " As if they wouldn't know that. Dumbass. Anyway, I don't really like urlLink concerts . I mean, they are cool in theory  your favorite band, singing your favorite songs, right in front of you  but in reality they just don't do it for me. Part of it is the whole crowd thing. I just don't like being around thousands of screaming, singing, dancing, sweating, stinking strangers.
Screaming, singing, dancing, sweating, stinking friends  that I can handle. But strangers  no thanks. Also, I only want to hear the songs that I like. I'm impatient like that. I don't want to hear stuff off the first album that didn't sell very well because it sucked, or stuff off the current album that isn't on the radio because it sucks, or stuff off the next album that isn't out yet but probably sucks. But when you're at a concert, you can't stop them from playing that stuff. There's no "skip" button. You can't fast-forward. You just have to sit there and tune out, maybe go get some urlLink nachos or something, until they play a good song.
And that's boring. And songs never sound right when they're done live. Something's always off  the singer's voice isn't up to par, the music is changed up, the lyrics are ad-libbed, they throw in some kind of crappy medley, they "take it to the bridge. " Why give up your hard-earned cash to hear a sucky version of your favorite song when you can put on your CD and hear it just the way you like it?
You know what the best part of a concert is? When it's over, and you go back to your car, and then you sit there for three hours surrounded by 50 million other cars trying to get out of the parking lot before you. Oh wait, that part sucks too. I'm such a no-fun-nik. 
