  Today I feel like I am alone again. I want to go out but now I am back at my mom’s house I can’t just walk back home when I go out, plus there really isn’t any place to go in my mom’s neighborhood. I am back to planning my activities around the bus schedule which, in my opinion, really isn’t what its cracked up to be.
One of the things I am going to work on while Jesse is gone is getting my license. That way I pick him up from the airport when he comes home, surprise him by being the only one there and maybe develop some sort of social life outside of work and school. Jesse told me that they are entitled to a few days a month leave, but he doesn’t think he will take it and come home to visit. I sort of want him to though. I miss him so much it would be nice to see him once in a great while. I do however understand where he is coming from though, we have already had to say goodbye two times and that was hard enough, he really doesn’t want to go through that again and I don’t blame him. I hated saying goodbye for the second time, when he came back for Christmas; it was a lot harder to let him go.
In my mind I was thinking no fair he just came home, why can he stay longer? I talked to him a little bit yesterday; he seemed to be getting along well. I know the other day when we were about to get off the phone with each other he told me that he loved me and he missed me “like hell”, I needed to hear him say that. Something inside of me knew that he missed me but need to hear it. Meanwhile, back on the home front, the apartment is pretty much cleaned out, all but two rooms.
Tomorrow everyone is going to meet up at the apartment and finish it off, hopefully. My sister is even coming to shampoo the rugs, get the pet smells out. Wednesday is when we turn the keys in. I told my mom when I get the deposit back I am going to take her, my brother and his Girlfriend, out to dinner… maybe I’ll take my sister too, but I am not to sure if I will or not because she really hasn’t done much to help.
My Mom, Brother, and Candace (his Girl Friend) have done a lot of packing and lifting and moving and carting boxes for me so I think they deserve something nice. It’s the least I can do for them, besides say thank you. With all of the things on my mind, for some reason I just can’t stop thinking about Jesse. I miss him so much. I would give anything just to see him. I wish we could videoconference with each other, and then at least I could see him. I miss seeing him, I miss his voice, I miss his amazing eyes, I guess that’s what I get for being in love. 
