  Tribute to my Love: Yesterday I spent the evening with an old friend of Jesse and mine named Melissa. I can safely say if it wasn’t for her Jesse and I would have never gotten together. I actually had no Idea she was even still in Sacramento and then out of the blue *poof* I hear the old familiar sound of a messenger window popping up and a “Hey it’s me Melissa!” Typed on the screen.
I proceeded to chat with her for most of the day and then she invited me over to hang out and have dinner with her, her boyfriend Mihn and their kitty of many names. I had a great time and didn’t wind up getting home until close to 2:00 am. It was so nice to be able to hang out without a care in the world.
What is even better about the whole thing is that Melissa lives like 15-minute bike ride away from my mom’s house, so I can go hang whenever I need too. She is also going to be helping me move some stuff out of my mother-in-laws house next week and I told her I would take her out to get something to eat afterwards for all of her help. I explained to her why I wasn’t able to go by Vikki’s (my In law) house and how after I went to Texas to see Jesse my grandmother had passed away and how I got sick, plus not having a truck/car/van to pick the stuff up and take it to storage.
She said she understood that some times things happen and offered to help me out. That was so sweet of her. I am so glad I spent the evening with her. In other news, I don’t foresee talking to Jesse much for then next couple of days. He had to travel outside of his camp to another camp for a meeting about something (I am being very vague for security reasons). He should be back in two days and I asked him if he wouldn’t mind taking his camera so I could have some shots of the Kuwaiti road side and see what the other camp looks like.
Hopefully he remembers. I hate when we aren’t able to talk but I know no news is often better then bad news and as long as I hear good news or nothing at all he is fine. These last few weeks I have met up with a few people from my past and have reminisced on a great many high school memories and as I think back now, Jesse and I are even more so in love with each other then we were back then. In High school we were inseparable and most of the time if you were looking for one of us, you found both of us and just had to deal with the fact that we were the pair to be reckoned with.
I remember a time when I was asked to think out of the box per say. One of my friends had asked me to imagine that Jesse and I weren’t together, to help prove a point regarding relationships. When she said this to me I just looked back at her in disbelief, and told he I couldn’t imagine life without Jesse.
She then proceeded to ask Jesse to do the same and he told her no way. She said come on guys, pleading for us to humor her and we just looked at each other and holding hands walked away saying nope, nope nuh unh, both of us smiling from ear to ear. I also recall a lower point in my life that Jesse was able to help me get through (believe you me there have been a few).
Each one he was there for me and would hold on to me tighter because he knew I needed it. This instance was at the small funeral service of my late Grandmother Delores. I couldn’t bring myself to see her in her casket and when they tried to get me to look I just cried more. She was very sick and when she died she looked as if she was someone else. I wanted to remember her for the way she was before she became bed ridden and helpless. Jesse made the long trip to Bakersfield with my mom and I and stood by my side every moment until we got right back home to Sacramento, some 5 hours later.
I wish he could have been home for my Nana Pauline’s funeral; it would have been so much easier for me to deal with. But he was on a plane to Kuwait. Someone told me that I am very codependent of Jesse and that may be but I love him more than anything and worship the ground he walks on.
He is a hard worker and has endured so much just for me alone. He has filled bathtubs up with warm water from the kitchen sink, ridden his bike half way across Sacramento just so he could be by my side in an emergency room. He has held me while I cried over stubbing my toe, and made it a point to tell me that I am a goddess in my eyes where all I see is a plane Jane.
And what gets me the most is that all of those things he doesn’t see, and he has asked me on his lowest days, why I deal with him and all I can say is, “because I love you.” I have been with Jesse for 6 years and 7 months and of course I am codependent, and I am not ashamed of the fact that I am.
He has been a part of my life for 7 ½ years as the best friend anyone could ever have. I remember once, before we got together, he almost got into a fight with some kids because he was messing with me and had pulled my wig off of my head, it had been pinned (this was Halloween and I was dressed up as Raggedy Ann) and he had hurt me in doing this. When I told my best friend about it, he was ready to go after the guy who had did it to me.
He has always been there for me and in these times I find it hard to get through my days without a fake smile because I miss him a lot and to make my smile less false I think of these little things he does and I smile from ear to ear. 
