  It's raining today:( The perfect reflection of my soul. Sad, confused, lonely, all of the above. I'm listening for my Celine but she's making me more sad. I went out with some friends last night, it kinda felt good, especially Jamie, she really makes me feel good inside and about myself. And Heather, she's always there to listen and I love her. We went an watched "Bullet Proof Monk" which was okay, some horrible humour, no hidden plots, no twists, pretty straight foreward and boring in that aspect... However that guy that was in it was definite eye candy. Then we went to Seattle for coffee and Jamie's new b/f and her old one were together and it was very stressful on her, and I really felt horrible for Ryan (her ex) because I know how much he must be hurting inside watching her with the new guy.
It was terribly awkward and tense. Bryce and I had nachoes, that was exciting, they taste so good, but what you don't know is that every bite is like 200 calories. I came home to hear that Colin had left a message on my machine. I don't know what to do with him. I like him very much and I hate being in this situation, I want to love him and make him feel loved and whole, but it's never reciprocated, too funny...
I should talk to him today, but I haven't a clue what to say with out sounding narotic. Why should I have deeper feelings for him, sure we cuddled and kissed, but in the gay community you can be sleeping together and it still doesn't mean anything.
I so completely hate feeling like an enigma in life. I wish I was straight because I can get along with any girl, with the exception of Lisa Fuck-a-lot/luck, and we could fall madly in love with each other and live happily ever after... oh the things I think of... Well today is yet to unfold and I so sincerely hope it goes well, I made coffee plans with Jamie today, because she's uplifting and wonderful and will take my mind away from things I don't want to think about. Well till next time! HUGS DAN :) 
