  Written. 30. August. 2000 Its time for me to stop and take a breath- to look around and see what I can see. Not that I'm going too fast, But I'm too deep, too mired down in the mundane, slowly drowning without even knowing it. I have to take a step back and look at the whole of it- at least that which I can See. Perhaps I'm so deeply embedded in the little things that I've really become detached from Spirit and so yearn for adventure, for change I know I don't need.
I wish I could meld the two, so I could function smoothly between, ins tead of having to flip back and forth, using energy and resources that are limited to begin with. This is my goal, to achieve fluidity; as I grow and learn I believe it can happen. Through it all there is this lethargy, a weariness that grows every day, an increasing desire for true silence. I fight myself even as I am resigning myself to the care of Spirit, and it is exhausting me. I've begun to wonder how much further I can go alone. I wonder if I even want to. 
