  OK,  I'm freaking out today. nbsp;  I've been a bathhouse Betty for the past couple days and have totally fucked off all the stuff I "
should" have been doing.
nbsp;
 My mind is racing about my job,  working for a promotions,  the SW Regional,  trading in or keeping my car,  my health,  sponsoring people,  my step work,  whether or not I got ripped off by the bug people today,  the rotting wood in the bathroom etc.
blah,  blah. and it's all high class stuff but it's still real.
nbsp;
 Not going to meetings for days hasn't helped and not reaching out has also probably not been the right thing to do.
nbsp;
 So I go to the nooner and CRAZY Diane Nelson wants to meet me this afternoon at 6pm to " talk.
nbsp;
 Jeeeze lady. what the hell is there to talk about.
nbsp;
 I'm really not up for that.
nbsp;
 I'm nervous that I'll be mean to her or say something unkind.
nbsp;
 I'm pissed that on my day off I have to spend any of it with her.
nbsp;
 I guess I need to get over it.
nbsp;
 I'm sober,  not in jail and have food and shelter and a car and friends and cloths and a computer and cell phone and TV and blah blah blah.
