  AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WHAT IS MY LIFE COMING TO!  AM I JUST SOMEONE TO HANG AROUND JUST TO LOOK LIKE PEOPLE KNOW LOTS OF PEOPLE?  AM I JUST USED TO MAKE FUN OF AND TO PUT DOWN!  WHAT THE FUCK!  HMPF!
 I am seriously pissed off.  and yes.  i know .  i don't have to go to school anymore for three more months but even that does not make me feel less depressed.  so tonight.  i go to graduation.
 well actually i earlier i went to spanish class.  last class with spencer marsinek.  hes cool alone.  but when there are others around.  watch out.  his napoleon complex is selner-
sized.  so i am finally done putting up with his bullshit.  making fun of me for anything and everything.  its not that he bothers me,  but if i am having a bad day .  it doesn't seem to help.
 anyways so i got done with that.  got a ride to bees in the boro.  ate lunch.  got a ride with elly to go home.  all she talked about was her boyfriend and herself.  hmm.
 it seems to be that way a lot as of late.  then i go home. mope around.  later. i'm finally getting to gradution)  so i go to gradution.
 i was late to where we were meeting b/ c my clock is wrong in my room.  whoops.  the people there were already mad b/ c pavis wasn't going to show up.  then i rode down to akron.
 in the van.  two in the fronseat.  me in the backseat listening to THEIR music.  b/ c driver/ passenger will NEVER let me put my music in .
 let alone suggest something better of their's ( as usual.  i then sit in the backseat thinking to myself b/ c god forbid i might be able to sit shotgun and actually talk to someone.  and also am blocking out the soundtrack to chicago.  I CAN'T STAND THAT DAMN SHOW ANYMORE.
 i'll admit i liked it at first.  but i regret that.  ALL THESE ( and others)  PEOPLE DO IS LISTEN TO IT!  i don't know how they can stand it.
 every time i drive with friends who are listening to this i feel like i am trapped in a hellish musical rerunish nightmare.  so.  we are on my way.  and my dad's directions are complicated instead of the easy way i know how to go.  but no.  GOT to follow dad's directions (
i'll admit he is usually good with these)  so we miss the turn.  then i point out an alternate.  what do you know.  we miss that too.  and after countless almost turns onto oneway streets (
akron is a lost driver's hell)  and cell phone directions.  we finally got there . but b/ c the seating is first come first serve we get the nosebleed seats.  not even them.
 WORSE!  like i was so far from the stage.  A.  i was nautious ( sorry for misspelling)  B.
 I could barely see/ hear anyone.  hellish.  so then we had to sit through some shitty speeches and i made some side comment to my neighbor.  and was answered with a SHHHH!  it was so fucking loud.
 i was like come on i was only whispering to you.  then later i tried one more time.  i couldn't stand listening to Mr.  Howard aka.  not so " I'm such a funny principal"
 without ripping on him and was answered with another HELLA LOUD SHHH!  .  so i decided that would be the last word i would say the whole night.  so what happens then the person starts talking to me.  i was light well thats nice hmm. so i just shook my head in response everytime.
i was mad.  graduation went on and on.  talking some shit about how teachers are good and great and they shape our lives and other crap they made up.  with the exception of a precious few.  most of the hhs faculty can suck it. after.
 we had to walk through all the obnoxious seniors smoking their cigars.  after on the way to the car it was like " Nate .  are you mad?  " Are you sure?
What's wrong Nate?  and I said .  b/ c when i am really pissed i just fume .  NOTHING I JUST FEEL SICK OK?  then they pull that shit .
 " I love you!  don't feel bad.  do you love me.  come on Nate .  do you love me?
 and i just said yes under my breath to please them.  the less the better.  then they were all like.  " come on.  I didn't hear you.
 AHHHHHHHHHH.  so i got them back and bitchin' went down about being hungry and somehow i lent them money to get fast food ( mostly out of an attempt to not talk.  so i just gave it.  .  after the question "
Nate.  how far have you ever gone. no come on really how far have you gone.  "  the person who asked this already know and shouldn't have asked in the first place but did.  adding even more to my depressed-
ness by reminding me that NOONE'S attracted to me.  well except for so and so.  " oh you could have definitely gotten some of that ass"  .  hmm NO i don't go for freshmen that are more like my sister or people who are stalker's.
 NO.  no normal people ever like me . and if " someone"  does.  they are always like oh.
 i can't tell you.  well let me tell you. that helps me a hell of a lot.  cause by my records that is NO ONE. so yeah .  hashing up my love life.
 not a good idea. unless you want a slap in the face or a really short short story. then i get home and my mom starts bitchin' about teachers presents.  i could care less.  i just wanted to sit down and watch south park and forget that i have problems but nooo.  "
Nate you have to decide on which for which teacher"  and " Why can't you put anything into this.  you agreed on these last week!  thanks for helping .  you might as well just go to bed.
 GO TO BED!  and that is where i am right now.  i am pissed b/ c of today.  i am pissed b/ c of tonight.
 i am pissed b/ c of my love life.  and finally i am pissed b/ c i missed a great new south park where cartman's hand puppet is a latino singer who replaces jennifer lopez as queen of the charts.  FUCK IT ALL!  FUCK IT ALL!
 .  i certainly hope you had a better day than i did.  GOODNIGHT!
