  wow.  what a fucking awkward week.  well.  I did it.  I finally got to the shrink and secured some meds to fix my problems ( which amount to high levels of anxiety with mixed add,
 depression,  and bits of ocd mixed in)  yeah.  so meds.  most are fine.  i forget so easily.
 some come with side effects.  case in point.  effexor.  i took it.  it took away my emotions.  im not even exaggerating.
 my life for the past few days has been a hollow void filled with random mumblings and trips from class to class where there are more people opening and closing their mouths sending words to my deaf ears.  yeah .  thats what it was.  i mean tuesday.  had to be one of the most beautiful days so far this year.  i could have cared less.
 i feel robotic.  in every way except for my lack of energy which.  oh .  can be accredited to effexor.  im not complaining really.  because if it can solve my problems.
 ill go through hell for a month if i have to.  ( that is if the side effects go away like they are supposed to after a week or two)  anyways though.  on another note.  due to the meds i feel im losing my personality a little bit.
 im more laid back which i do enjoy.  but my interest in some people and my ability to make others laugh has shot down drastically.  this is i both surprising and not at all.  the interest is 1/ 2 and 1/ 2 because a.
 maybe with a clear head i can see who my real friends are/ aren't and cut straight through the bullshit to a worthwhile relationship with my peers.  or b.  with my increased grogginess at times.  i can be a little more irratible this week so.  for me to put up with people requires a lot.
 so .  i dont .  but the funny thing is a little more confusing.  i dont know if just in my groggy state im less of a comedian because i cant think straight or because it took away my humor.  i hope the first answer is the right one.  based on the fact that humor.
 is sometimes the only thing that gets me through tough times.  but oh well.  oh and on a side note.  i want school to be over.  im sick of the play right now.  why because.
 in one word.  drama. ok.  ill add two more words.  toaster.  and quesadilla.
 those who know.  know.  those who don't.  just ask ill explain.  but these plust other added benefits of staying up late and having to memorize the same fucking line over and over again because rodgers and hammerstein are too fucking retarded to pick something different than " made in persia"
 " made in paris"  " looks french"  " straight from paris"
 etc.  you get the jist.  its hard as hell to memorize the same line for different scenes.  which is basically the dillemma i am dealing with right now.  but oh well.  i better bite my lip and keep my eyes peeled because april is moving fast and i might miss may in the process of bitching.
oh.  i think im not starting to make sense because of the combination of late nights and antianxiety medicine.  well.  off to a night filled with trippy dreams and thoughts of tomorrow.  Nate 
