  Weekend Review: Sigh... Yeah, so here I am...by myself. I guess i'm not really devastated about losing Carrie-Ann, but more confused and disappointed. I really do miss her, the way she talks, the way she laughs, the way she acts so sweet all the time...man.
I really don't get it...I don't think I did anything wrong, sure things weren't working out that well right now...but, I thought if we still felt the same way about each other, we would find a way to work things out. But Jen raised an interesting point...her boyfriend can drive, but she can't, yet they see each other often enough. Now I can't drive, but Carrie can, even though she doesn't have her own car. What I dont get...is that why she didn't make a big enough effort, to just borrow her mom's car once, head over here, so we could be together. I mean I would've done it all the time even though it wasn't my car, and certainly forget about other less important plans.
Like what could be more important than running off to see the person you love? But i'm afraid this is where things get even more complicated, she said before about how she's never felt this way about a guy before. So right off the bat, I know this is new to her, love is something she hasn't experienced before. I have however, and I got broken the last time I fell in love with a girl, which granted did teach me a lot.
One of my teachers raised an interesting point to me earlier this year, while she was talking about all these married couples divorcing, how people shouldn't get married unless they've had their hearts broken at least once. And that really makes sense to me, because then you really get a feeling of what love is, and you're more prepared before you dare make that commitment a second time. I just...I really wish I could finally be with someone who does understand, who's loyal, loving and trustworthy. I guess... Carrie lacked those qualities despite how sweet a girl she is. That really disappoints me, maybe its a high-school thing? People still are growing up, and lack the experience, that some others already have. So next time, I won't let myself be fooled again, and haha raise my standards to that bar.
Because, without trust and maturity, its just like constructing a paper bridge...if she were to come back to me, and prove that she's trustworthy...i'd give her another chance in second...(not sure if that'll happen though. ) Well, I think i'm ready for the next challenge/girl (haha) already, I catch on pretty quick nowadays. Where does that leave me now? Geez, I don't know...I figure I just need to gather the rest of my thoughts and feelings, and chalk it up on the board.
I don't really need closure, I just want to know what went on in her mind. I want to look her in the eyes, and see if she really does feel different, because i have no idea what to make of this, sigh... 
