  i'm generally OK. (or so i'm trying to convince myself) i'm not saying everything is sunshine and strawberries, but things are pretty OK in my world, other than "my father's illness". (and i'd like to focus on anything but that right now) i've been going to work, seeing friends, etc. and i'm still not getting enough exercise... and i'm a little tense. (as usual) but traci and i are planning to join the gym on friday.i've been getting edgy in certain situations (but at least i'm aware of the cause, for a change)... i think that I've been trying to protect myself by holding certain people (all people, my father included) at arms length. because I'm not particularly in pain right now (or at least, i'm in denial anout being so) and I would like to keep it that way for as long as possible.
(that also means that I feel a little disconnected. ) i think I need to leave at some point. just get up and go somewhere. (but not right now, because that would be unfair) maybe soon though, i think i need that... i really do. 
