  it seems like lately that i have been feeling more and more depressed lately and i want it to stop i just want to be happy and not worry about anything like the week i met chad,  that was the best week of my life it was a really high point in my life then i come to this past couple of days and i have been missing chad alot and questioning if its going to work out and the way it's looking right now well,
 its not looking good right now and that really really makes me feel like shit but i guess i'll just have to move on if it doesnt work out for whatever reason i just cant stop thinking that maybe i did something really wrong and now chad doesnt want me but i dont know i just need to talk to him,  i'll try to get a hold of him again tomorrow and if i cant i guess ill just have to wait but once i do i think me and him are going to have a long talk about things to try and figure it all out no matter how long it takes im going to figure it out with him.  i have been loaded with math homework since mrs lee refused to teach the sophomores what they missed last thursday so i have no idea what im supposed to be doing for that section and we have a quiz on it tomorrow so im pretty much screwed plus i have test corrections to do in seminar tomorrow so i have to get those done to bring my grade up a bit higher that it is if thats possible.  i hope things get better soon because its starting to be too much for me and well yeah bad things happen when i get really depressed and i dont really feel like going there again anytime soon,
 or ever for that matter.  i just need to have a long talk with chad and see whats going to happen there because its getting harder and harder not knowing whats going on i hope he is ok and everything is fine for him because last time this happened well bad things happened to him and i really really hate to see him in pain i want to help him alot more than i am now,
 i just have to figure out a way to do it.  im going to talk to danette again this week,  last friday i told her thanks for giving chad a hug because it meant a lot to me that she didnt have any hostility,  she said no problem,  just because i dont agree with gays doesnt mean i dont care about them.  that meant a lot i dont have as many hard feelings torwards her anymore which is a good thing because she is really there to care not to hate like i first thought she was.  well i know there is tons more on my mind right now but i just dont feel like talking about them right now so i guess thats it for this post.
