  Today is that anniversary of Joana Burman's last performance! A performance I saw a year ago. Ballerinas are pretty, to think I could have been one had I kept up with it.
I honestly wish I had, but then I may not have come across Kung Fu... so ...yeah. I have quit so many things. Violin, viola, piano, guitar, clarinet, swimming. I hope that's it... I need to get active dammit. There is so much to do out there, and life is so short. It's kind of depressing... At least I have somethings to keep me occuped, the problem is I may become bored with them soon.
So so sad. I have FictionPress.net to enthrall my imagination with the works of many writers-some who have horrifying story telling skills- I also have a new found hobby: htlm shit. Yep, I can change colors of text!!! Whee! It's frutrating because I have no idea what I'm doing. Uh... you use these thingies <> and hexadecimal codes for the codes. HEX-A-DE-CIM-AAAAL hexa-there's 6 characters...#OOOOOO Once one tells themselves not to do something, immediatly, the desire to do it becomes that much more intense... yes, I am referring to my vow to not hit the slit. So I have to make my own fun. I always say I worry about myself... meaning my inclination to go suck face->suck dick->fuck etc. I think what I really worry about is what my friends will think. A certain friend once said, "PLeeeeeeaSe don't become a slut!
" I didn't know what to say to that. What is wrong with it? Seriously? Because sOcietY thinks it is wrong... there's a good reason *scoff* let's just conform to the wishes of anyone but ourselves. People say 'slut' like it is a bad thing. If you enjoy that lifestyle then right on. Being a slut is *bad* if one does it for another reason than their own enjoyment. Despite my virginity, I tend to be fairly slutty when it comes to other things... I enjoy it until the guy I am gambing is a shit to me.
I just need to detatch. And I am. As experience progresses I learn that I shouldn't expect anything but cum from any guy I'm with. That is the truth. Even if the guy is your best friend... once you go down on a guy your integrity goes down with it [less and less respect, but then again I am in highschool]. Especially if you want it to be special between you and that friend. He'd probably just go brag about it to his exgf to make her jealous.
In no way could I possibly be relating this to MY life...enough of my pain. I need to do my report about acid now... 
