  My depression is building...I'm torn between it being a case of my meds needing to be tweaked and outside influences. I've been totally off of any SSRI's for almost 2 months now. This is the first time for that in several years. At first, I thought I could handle it but now I don't think I can. I'm still on the mood stabilizer, but I think I need something else. As the days pass, I can feel myself curling up into a ball, smaller and smaller, hoping no one will take notice of me and hoping that I can disappear completely. I don't know if there is an alternative to SSRI's. Maybe that's not what I need. Maybe I need something else. I don't know what else there is. 
