  I have starting winning arguments. It's unsettling and surreal. I'm so used of being the one to feebly nod my head and sigh, "Well, I guess you're right. " But people are beginning to respond to me this way. This started a few months ago, but I kept chalking it up to luck or conscience. In my never-ending quest to analyze everything in my world, I'm seeing that people are listening to me for what feels like the first time ever.
I'm caught with this realization, and I don't quite know what to do with it. Somehow I've romanticized being misunderstood, and now the title seems ill-fitting. In our historical mock trial today, I felt mean . I was shooting down every point the defense was making, and I could sense such aggravation on their side. I knew the points they were trying to make, and I was twisting their questions into support for my side. It felt uncomfortably powerful. There's more. Paige has been questioning her Christian faith. It was just a curiosity before I got a hold of her. For weeks I've been pumping her with my opinions, how I see religion and how it usually goes hand-in-hand with hypocrisy.
That little hole, the tiny questioning, has been torn wide open in the span of a month. Every time I pointed out biblical inconsistencies or world injustices, it was like watching something in her eyes fade. I'm responsible for that. I don't want to cause people to feel lost, like Paige. Or irritated, like the kids in my history class. I've had this ideal image of winning debates for a long time. And now that it's happening, it's nothing like I wanted at all. But I can't seem to conjure up the image of what an argument should resolve in. Affectionately... Anna 
