  In the spirit of making new friends, I chose to forge relationships with new ones. There is a girl in my new English class who I think a lot of.
Rachel is witty and sassy and an artist who laughs a lot. She also likes to say ‘ cock ’. Do I smell kindred spirit? If the twelve-year-old-me had found that someday in the future, Josh Hartnett would film a movie a block from my school, the-twelve-year-old-me would have messed herself. In the years since seventh grade, I have come to realize that 40 Days and 40 Nights in not exactly the peak of cinematic bliss.
But there remain an underlying passion for the lanky actor who made me swoon, unibrow and all. Anyway, Rachel introduced me to a crop of people I am affectionately referring to as 'Those Who Would Never, Ever Cheerlead'. They seem to all share a love for all things unconventional. Sam is a tall, blond fellow in moccasins. Aubrey is a short brunette with eye sized to rival mine, but blue and pretty. Luciana has achieved the purple-against-black hair effect I attempted a few months ago. She smokes Marlboro Lights and talks about Death Cab for Cutie. We had a grand ole’ time sneaking around the trailers. The food station was open, and we talked to a caterer about food on the set. We were chased by security for a while, which was quite the thrill.
Sam climbed on top of the roof for a bit, danced around, and we witnessed one of the actresses on her cell phone outside smoking and talking in French. We watched two non-Josh actors film a scene. One man apparently plays a mentally retarded person, and we waved to him through the window to see if we could distract him. We hung around the skate park for a while longer, talking about how shitty Spokane is. It was a little bit hard to navigate through the “ fucking fucks ” but the overall message of the conversation was appreciated.
It’s not as if I had more fun with these people than with my other friends, but there was simply more substance to ongoings. There is a lot to be said for phasing out everything but a Simon and Garfunkle song in Robin’s living room, but sometimes that’s not enough. I don’t want to look back on my life and wish I had done more things. I don’t want to settle for people who simply make me feel secure, but for friends that make me feel good about myself. I want to befriend people I respect and admire. I want to have heart-to-heart conversations, instead of wondering things outloud. Even if it is rambling nonsense. I should be happy with the friends that I have. But there is something changing. I can feel it, and I know the collective feeling within my circle is starting to recognize that.
There was a time for me to hibernate, there was a time for me to shut out the world. But I think, maybe, hopefully, that’s coming to a close. I want to experience life rather than suffer through it. I know that there is going to be bad, but I’ll take the bitter with the sweet. Without content, what is life, anyway? Affectionately… Anna 
