  Returned to the oblivion of school today. It was awful, but that’s entirely expected. I remember talking to a girl in the library last year… She overheard me talking about how much easier high school was than I had expected. She looked at me, and said “ Just wait until next year. Then you’ll see !” So this is the sophomore slump. And it is driving me insane.
Yet, there is so much more to life than school… maybe it sounds contrived or like I am trying to justify my current C in English… I just can’t help but think school is not the be-all end- all of my life. I am more than grades. I am more than homework assignments. I am more than the state-wide WASL test. Though this hardly passes as news; I’ve been treating my GPA like an expendable entity since October. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reasons why Meghan Kathleen is pisses the fuck out of me and is not a good friend: 1.
Meghan is a liar. Meghan lies about the most trivial and arbitrary things possible. It literally ranges from she-said/he-said bullshit to where she is spending her weekend. It pisses me off because I would think of all people, she would at least cut such crap around me. 2. Meghan exhibits the maturity of a fifth grader.
Sometimes I think that her maturity-growth was stunned somewhere is 1999. She can’t carry on a conversation without interrupting other people, instead talking about mindless crap about people I do not care about. Really if What’s-Her-Face is sad because she accidentally cheated on So-and-So I DON’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ! 3. Meghan belittles me. She knows exactly what to say to hurt me, and does it all the time.
After so many “ God, I’m just kidding !”s I start to wonder what the point is. She is mean to me. And it’s that simple. I don’t like being called stupid. I don’t like every bad thing in our past being brought up (“ Remember when Maryellen was too cool for you?”) The worst part is, she launches such attacks when my defenses are down. I have never been good at standing up for myself, and she uses it against me.
I know this means that there is something really fucked up with her emotionally to want to hurt me all the time… but it still hurts. 4. Meghan is superficial. How many times do I have to tell her I don’t care were she bought her latest whore-pants? I do not want to know her latest cup size or the new place she’s getting her highlights done at. Those things are a crutch.
Meghan is one of the most gorgeous people I know, but you can’t even see her face through the pounds of makeup she cakes on it. 5. Meghan expects me to be a shoulder to cry on… but does not reciprocate. If she is watching the OC or even a “good” Lizzie McGuire, I could be sobbing and she would put me on hold. That’s the way she works. We used to be so close, and I need her in my life, but its asking way too much for her to be the sole beneficiary of all care.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- See, there is a reason why this blog must remain private. That’s quite possibly the most through and most mean thing I have ever written. Worst still, I mean every word of it. Affectionately… Anna 
