  &nbsp; Did you expect it all to stop at the wave of your hand? Like the sun is just going to drop if it's night you demand. Well, in the dark we are just air so the house might dissolve. But once we are gone, who is gonna care if we were ever here at all? Well, summer is going to come and it's gonna cloud our eyes again. There is not need to focus when there is nothing that is worth seeing. So we trade liquor for blood in an attempt to tip the scales. I think you lost what you loved in that mess of details. They seemed so important at the time but now you can't even recall any of the names, faces, or lines. It is more the feeling of it all. Well, winter is going to end and I'm going to clean these veins again.
So close to dying that I finally can start living. Small miracles shot out in every direction from my day. My English grade, after a brief meeting with my teacher, has been upgraded to a nice, fat B. Not necessarily good, but no longer life-suckingly bad. My History and math grades still need work, but it's only a midterm. I will have math up to a C by semester and History up to an A. I just have to get my lazy ass away from the stereo and to my desk.
If I simply do my work, I will do well. Enough crap about school. How about crap about the Rocket Sex God? He dyed his hair, so gorgeous and auburn. He was wearing those Rivers Cuomo-like glasses and a Mr. Rogers' sweater. Leigh and I order coffees, and he pointedly pressed my quarter change into my hand. Never before has change-exchanges been so sexual. His eyes are so piercing and so intense. Coffeehouse visits are turned into romance paperback works of art during his shift.
Babysitting until late, then I might soothe my insomnia by watching SLC Punk. I need to feel the power of "And this city was still the same...I mean, look at it! There's nothing going on. That's what I saw when I looked out over the city: nothing. How the Mormon settlers looked upon this valley, and felt that it was the promised land, is beyond me. I don't know, maybe it looked different back then. " Here is a picture of Urban Spokane "Urban", a park... what a joke. Affectionately... Anna 
