  Last Saturday I wrote that I thought I was losing my angst and becoming well-adjusted. What bullshit. (see yesterday's post) I'm going to do reflect the blame for acting so irrationally, and instead place said blame on my illness. It's only logical that I over-reacted because I have a sore throat, right? I found the best picture of my brother and me today. It's from when I was four and he was six. Joe's wearing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles PJs, and I'm wearing some god-awful frilly nightie. We've got our arms over each other's shoulder and we're chewing on action figures. On the back, Mom wrote "See Joe's 6 stitches- you can barely see Anna's 3 stitches.
See the bruises on Anna's legs- she's a regular tomboy, always moving. " I was such a weird kid, seriously, I think my parents are amazed that I turned out relatively normal. I was so irritating and loud. I always had a million similarly annoying friends over. I was also big into women's rights, thanks to my mom's influence. After overhearing a conversation she was having with her friend, I denounced Barbies at age seven. No joke. Then I continued to play with American Girl dolls until I was twelve. (Meghan and I had so many stupid memories from her old house. Every game evolved the same plot; our dolls were orphaned and then someone rich adopts them. Then we braided their hair. ) I used to obsessively read, too. That's my Dad's influence. I was the typical nerd-child with a flashlight under the covers reading books at midnight.
I think that's why I'm so analytical about things today. This year, Jodi, a leader at camp who has known me for seven years, and I were talking about how much everyone has grown up. She stopped mid-sentence and said poignantly, " You , gosh, Anna, you have changed. You've totally grown up. You're more mellow. More adult. But you're still the same Anna, and I really have grown to love your personality. " I guess it struck me pretty deeply. I really hate growing up and changing. But if I can still maintain the core of who I am, my personality, I guess I’m alright. Affectionately… Anna 
