  First, agree to babysit for your father's partner's children. Babysitting is a sure fire way to loose both your dignity and your sanity! Make sure that you walk to the house; it's always attractive and professional to arrive sweaty. If you can manage to be five to ten minuets late, that helps to.
Whoever got anywhere by being on time? Anal-retentive fools, that's who! Attempt (and fail) to remain collected when both angels rage inconsolably after Mommie and Daddie leave. Being bitten, screamed at, and kicked build character! It you’re really looking to ruin your night, wear you favorite t-shirt on this venture. Then, at dinnertime, allow for optimal exposure of said t-shirt. In no time you'll be covered in everything from Stewed Peas to Apple-Banana Gerber food.
Who needs live action entertainment when PBS offers a plethora of intellectually stimulating animated features? The talent of such geniuses like Clifford The Big Red Dog, Tinky-Winky, and JJ The Jet Plane is undeniable. I myself was touched when Caillou (of Caillou ) proclaimed, "Growing up is not so tough/'Cept when I've had enough/Bup bup ba-bup bup bup/I'm Caillou! " I shudder to think of a life without self-loathing. Affectionately... Anna 
