  I wasn’t sleeping, and somehow became convinced that there was a candle-holder in the China Cabinet that I needed. Though no candle holders were to be found, I did come upon three things: a) a pipe b) acid and c) a baggie of pot. So, I found my brother’s hiding place. I giggled to myself because I do the same thing. My mother is like the Gestapo, she will find what she is looking for.
Periodically, I find things oh-so-slightly moved in my room. I’ve never understood her method of justifying her snooping, but it’s something I accept. And therefore our respective bedrooms are no place to hide anything of value. My journals are hidden in the heating vent. Back in my klepto days of middle school, I hid my stash in the garage. Robin called around two the next day. Her mother went to Eastern and would not be home until late that evening, Anna had some nice pot, and was today a good day to complete our proclaimed rite-of-passage? Yes. I grabbed the pipe, selected a few choice CDs and trotted off to Robin’s. We played some Bob Dylan and proceeded to the backyard. The actual process of inhaling marijuana is not anything like I thought it would be. It’s exactly like smoking a fag, really, and only slightly more illegal. We smoked outside for maybe fifteen minuets, finished a bowl and retreated to the warmth inside.
We lied down in her living room, blasted Simon and Garfunkle, and I suddenly became very lightheaded. It was like that feeling of complete calm before you fall asleep. It was such a lazy, warm, happy feeling. I always thought that being high meant acting crazy, bouncing around and being out-of-control. It’s not.
It’s better. Things felt dangerously poignant and beautiful in those moments. Kathy, I'm lost, I said, though I knew she was sleeping I'm empty and aching and I don't know why Counting the cars on the New Jersey Turnpike They've all gone to look for America All gone to look for America All gone to look for America It was like a musical orgasm. I swear to God. I’ve always like that song, but it was different then, and now it’s different forever. Affectionately… Anna 
