  *So I’m on a new diet. It’s called the, “Stop Eating So Fucking Many Cashews and Peanut Butter Bumpers, Dammit!”. SESFMCPBBD is a really specific weight-loss plan. Obviously I have a sorted past with food and body image and all the very dumb Female American stereotypes. SESFMCPBBD is not to be confused with my head in a toilet bowl with bloodshot eyes and a raw throat full of the familiar taste of stomach acid. I just need to stop eating a) Cashews and b) Peanut Butter Bumpers.
That’s all. But then again, teenage girls aren’t supposed to weigh the same as they did when they were in Junior High. Just because I have the upper body of a twelve year old, if Mother Nature wants me to have hips, then I’ll just have to deal with it. Freaking out about gaining eight pounds in five months is dumb. DUMB. (*Posts like this affirm that I am indeed, a teenage girl.
Sickening, aren’t I? ) --------------------------------- Why yes, faithful reader; yes I did watch three episodes of Road Rules Extreme last night. My verdict? Extreme-ly stupid! Extreme-ly gross! Worst of all, extreme-ly addicting!
MTV really loves to shack up homophobes with gay dudes, don’t they? So of course I watched. And the Homophobic Asshole made an offensive remark to the Stereotypical Flamboyant Gay Man, and craziness ensued. As one “mission” an artist painted their naked bodies and they were positioned awkwardly. The extreme part of the mission? Don’t move for a long time!!!!
Yes, standing is extreme. Extreme standing is actually a new sport in the X-games. Extreme Standing parks are being built all over the country. I head Tony Hawke is creating a new Extreme Standing video game were you can choose your own Extreme Standers and have Stand-a-tons. Ok, so standing is not that extreme. I’ve been doing it all my life, and I’ve yet to receive a “handsome reward” for standing.
Now, eyeball eating (as shown in next week’s preview)? That’s extreme. Affectionately… Anna 
