  OK Kids... bout time we had a new writer here at the Beer 'n' Porn factory and booy have we got one hell of a scribbler on deck.
I've been after this particular fella for about 8 months now and it's about damn time he agreed to add his scrawlings to our potlock blog. His name is The Slater.... dark poet and guitar player extrodinaire. How'd I get the slacker to post? I gave him a random topic and in 15 minutes he beats out this piece of work and, Sweet Jesus, it's a doosey.
Keep your eyes open for more work from "The Slater". Meanwhile, enjoy this tidbit. ---------------------- Where have all the gentleman farmers gone? Ever find yourself wondering HOW cold Canada could really be in the winter? No, no, I’m not going to defect to the Land of Loose Morals that lies to our north, despite its even-tempered laid-backedness and its free health care. But the fact that some days I yearn for the clean streets and cold liquor of our canuck neighbors tells me that something’s wrong here in this country.
The American political process itself isn’t flawed, but I believe that the way in which it is being executed could stand for some reform. It’s akin to using a supersoaker to shoot people with sulfuric acid; the squirt gun isn’t evil, it’s just the mind behind the trigger. Tenscore and 14 years ago, give or take, our forefathers brought forth one hell of a constitution, which was rigid enough to uphold the law of the land, but flexible enough to be changed if need be.
And it was vague enough that people could dictate their own morality. And Rights! We get new rights all the time! The right to vote, the right to drink, the right to turn on red, the right to writing articles like this one… Fab-u-tab-ulous. A flexible law system in which all people are entitled to life, liberty, property, etcetera… Sounds keen, huh?
But it doesn’t seem to pan out. Mumia’s in jail next to Tommy Chong, and the thrice convicted rapist is released, only to stab, then rape another victim. Right? People convicted of sensational crimes get book deals, and I’m stuck here writing a damned BLOG! Instead of justice, it seems like everything has gone terribly awry. Wanna know why? It’s easy. Stupid people are to blame. Now, that is a rather all-encompassing group, so I’ll narrow it down for some groups to talk about for the time being. -Stupid people who run for office. It’s a well known fact that the people who should be running our country are out actually getting things done, which is why the nation doesn’t implode like an eldritch Las Vegas hotel.
So we’re left with a popularity contest amongst all those people who annoyed you in high school… the prom queens, hard drinking jocks, pretty boys, and the kid who thought he knew the answer so he raised his hand all the time, but it turned out he was wrong, so he probably just wanted to hear himself talk… I hate that kid. Its nonsense smear campaigns featuring nonsense issues and nonsense platforms. Whenever anyone vaguely interesting gets into the mix, he’s accused of stealing votes away from major party candidates and losing elections. Fuck that shit! It’s time the two parties in this country get an overhaul or a squirt from the aforementioned sulfuric acid gun. No one I know is completely Republican or completely Democrat, so why the hell are we letting them run the place?
Representative democracy? -Stupid people that run companies. Corporations are waiting outside congress to pour money upon the folks that we… I guess we voted for, and it’s this money that makes laws and actions happen. So forget writing to your congressman about how much you hate a certain law. Here’s what happens… imagine the folgers commercial gone horribly, horribly wrong. *Shiny looking fellow in a suit – Good afternoon folks, We’ve replaced Senator Congressman’s sense of social ethics and responsibility to his constituents with hundred dollar bills, extravagant vacations, and whores… let’s see if he notices the difference!
* Hey… this sort of fantasy fulfillment took the social edge away from rap… and it seems like it’s done the same to the people who are leading us. And unlike rappers, they don’t DO anything else except make laws for and look out for us. To recap: we’re being run by a bunch of overpowered Student Council members who in turn are being run by the people who are in business to sell us things.
Could any good come from this? -Stupid people who can’t think for themselves. Now, this covers just about everyone, myself included. We can’t blame the ones we elected completely, right? I mean, we let them play house in Washington and Hartford… and we see the things that are happening. What do you do? Play Xbox? Change the channel when c-span is on, to block out the poison? Daydream about exploiting the system? Come on, I know we’ve all dreamed about lucrative lawsuits that would leave us independently wealthy and reasonably famous… at the very least you’ve bought a lottery ticket. Come on, scratching at it with a fingernail or a quarter, waiting by the TV to see if your number has come up?
You don’t have to lie, but remember, it’s your own conscience. We’ve grown jaded and apathetic because we see the political system as a thing we can’t change… but if you remember a couple of fellows who founded the country and wrote up a magic piece of paper that keeps us from a descent into chaos and anarchy… changing is exactly what we’re supposed to do. The American political system isn’t flawed… we, as citizens, have forgotten our responsibility to keep the fellows in Washington honest.
So you don’t like what you’re seeing? Vote for someone else… convince others to do likewise. *looks at drew* Can I go back to sleep now? --The Slater 
