  what the hell happened to the world?? what has happened to EVERYONE???? where has all the sanity gone? the only people who i thought would ever remain sane.....well, they're NOT anymore. who's sane? who's wonderful and happy?
varun. geez...well it's a friday night, i was enjoying it. i pulled out some old movies and i was watching it....and then miracle of all miracles, eleanor calls. and you know when that happens, you need to appreciate it cuz it doesn't happen much. then that stupid bitch (ie my mom) does that thing my dad does, cept she takes a leaf out of her own book to write the story on and she leaves the phone off hte hook and plays some crap really loud. THEN, when i go in there and unplug the phone in her room, she comes out here to PHYSICALLY wrest the phone away from me.
shouting match ensues. me: IT'S A FUCKING FRIDAY NIGHT!!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING mom: YOU NEED TO BE WORKING me: IT'S A FRIDAY NIGHT mom: WELL DO YOU WANT TO WORK ALL WEEKEND??? YOU'RE GOING OUT TOMORROW...YOU NEED TO WORK ALL THE TIME me: I DONT CARE...I'M TIRED, AND I'M GOING TO FUCKING DO WHAT I WANT mom: DONT YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR FUTURE? I'M YOUR MOM, LISTEN TO ME me: I DONT FUCKING CARE mom: YOU'RE AN ADULT NOW, YOU NEED TO BE RESPONSIBLE me: IF I'M AN ADULT THEN LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE AND LET ME DO WHAT I WANT, THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU mom: HAHAHAHA. WHEN YOU'RE AN ADULT YOU STILL HAVE TO LISTEN TO ME me: NO I DONT.
I DONT EVER LISTEN TO YOU, AND NEITHER DO I WANT TO. I'M NOT BOTHERING YOU. LEAVE ME ALONE, OR GIVE ME THE PHONE SO I CAN TALK IN MY ROOM [she's taken my phone away so i'm in the dining room] mom: FINE * i get up to get the phone, slightly hesitating cuz i should have SEEEN what was coming next. eleanor, we're talking like old times, and my mom FUCKING HANGS UP THE PHONE* well, my dad is out of town right now so this really really really really really sucks. god if he moves to birmingham i dont know what i'd do. HA.
that makes two of us who can't go home beacuse of psycho mothers. so now i'm playing music really loud (sure hope she hears it, its' filled with expletives) so that i can bther her. HA. i'm not irrational am i? i mean...geez if she just fucking gave me the phone instead of hanging up on my best friend that MIGHT have made a difference. alright, things to do: - take drivers ed so you really dont need her for anything - get a job so you freaking move out with eleanor anyway, but i guess the other thing is that people are just being so freaking horrible.
xi was supposed to be rational. he's not. he's mad about something. everyone is. but nobody wants to talk about it, and when they DO, something or someone always takes it away from me. my mom just came out here again and we had another shouting match.
mom: TURN THE MUSIC OFF me: FINE mom: DO YOU WANT YOUR KIDS TO BE LIKE THIS WHEN YOU GROW UP??? I'VE TAKEN CARE OF YOU SINCE YOU WERE LITTLE, AND ALL YOU AND YOUR DAD DO IS TREAT ME LIKE CRAP. DO YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE IS THAT IT? I'D BE A LOT HAPPIER WITHOUT YOU. YOU'RE A HORRIBLE DAUGHTER. me: HAHAHHA.
MAYBE YOU'D BE A LOT HAPPIER IF YOU FUCKING CALMED DOWN. I'M FUCKING FINE, AND IF YOU CAN'T SEE THAT THEN YOU'RE A HORRIBLE MOTHER. IN FACT, YOU ARE. YOU JUST NEED TO FUCKING LEAVE, BECAUSE NOBODY WANTS YOU HERE, ESPECIALLY ME. AND I WOULD NEVER MAKE MY KIDS WORK ON A FRIDAY NIGHT. AT LEAST I'M MAINTAINING MY SANITY SO I DONT GO CRAZY LIKE YOU harsh?
maybe. but justified. actually, the only "reason" she's even still here is sort of because of me. she hates my dad. sure, i sort of disagree with him too, but she is horrible. my dad is a rational creature.
i can work with it. but when she hates my friends, makes me work, and doesn't even care about my sanity...well. fuck that. i dont need it. a couple months ago her and my dad had a fight and she threatened to leave (she was probably just throwing a hissy fit all the time. she keeps saying shit about hating me and wanting to leave and stuff, and it just makes me so sick now that i keep telling her to go.
i'd be surprised if she actually went ahead with what she said and stopped whining so fucking much, but i can't say that i'd be sad. relieved even. at least my dad understands that friday nights belong to me) and we've been through this SO MANY TIMES. geez.....we had a fight about this, about how she doesn't care, about how she's a fucking communist (for a lack of a better word), and after that long arduous night she finaly conceded that what i wanted was to "not work all the time" she actualy said she's try to let me too. a week later, we're at it again, a nother week later..... and it's all the same too. eleanor, debate, homework, tv, phone.
God, i know i should appreciate what i've got but this is just....a pestilence. SHE'S the trial i have to get through. this is the hardest test i've ever taken, hands down. even beats PSAT writing. 
