  only now do i understand josh's ( and many other cynial ppl's)  problem with microsoft.  see,  for me,  it's not so much the whole monopolizing thing.
but it's just that. geez,  when they want you to use something,  u've got no choice.  and i'm still not talking about windows- compatible software or that lawsuit netscape had a few years back.
 WHY THE CRAP WONT WINDOWS MEDIA JUST BACK OFF!  what the crap. i just want to use cd player as. the CD PLAYER!  it takes like 2 seconds for that to come on. and stupid windows media takes like 15 and uses up all the RAM so all other functions slow down.
not only that,  the window it plays in is sooo stupid,  there's not enough options and too much stupid " pretty visualizations"  and it wont even let me turn it off as the default cd player!  AHHHHHH DAMN YOU MICROSOFT!
 *  ok,  enough of that.  this is what 2 days in the house does to jane.  so yesterday was alright.  i had expected to go to the zoo (
even though my dad said i wasn't,  but my mom stuck up for me when it came to the zoo so i thought it was alright)  but it turns out SOMEONe didn't wake me up ( the person who does all the waking in my family is my dad)  so i slept until like. noon.
 then i had nothing to do.  correction:  i had bushels and bushels to do,  but i didn't feel like it.  so then i went to meena's house to get my stuff ( atlas shrugged,
 whist world,  cd,  etc)  and i ended up staying and we talked about the things meena and jane talk about.  planning things out. fretting abut next year.
and loving it.  * ahhh*  bliss for the overachiever.  HEY!  u can't talk .
 that's how we met hahahaha.  yes,  and i mean both of us.  yue,  remember 7th grade and that algebra fiasco with the counselors?  aiya.
 note to self:  why is it,  that walking TO somewhere always seems to take longer than walking back?  so anyway,  i got back,  and i was tired,
 and i watched TV,  ate,  and went online.  oh. i burned CD # 3.
 i think it's a nice mix. but i was analyzing my music trends ( boredom?  no,  it's just jane)  from the stuff i've downloaded and burned ever since i got kazaa.
and here's how it boils down.  CD # 1 -  very commercial pnk- rock type of stuff. mixed in with some feel-
good pop and some sentimental crap.  meaning,  lots of greenday,  lots of Jimmy Eat World,  Savage Garden and no Doubt of course. the vines.
RHCP galore. and nirvana bc that bastard still had influence on me at the time.  how sad. i will note the date.  6/ 7/
03.  CD # 2 -  less poppy,  but WAAY more commericalized alternative- might-
as- well- be- punk stuf. highlights are Sum 41,  Chevelle,
 New Found Glory,  No Doubt,  Blink 182 ,  Sugarcult,  and Blue October.  CD #
3 -  it sort of went from happy- go- lucky- feel- good stuff to really bitter hard metal.
 * shudder*  lol.  starts off with stairway to heaven. then kiss kiss. then summer nights.
then complicated ( avril,  yah i know) u get the gist of it. to jane says,  brena,
 and passenger.  man i am schizo.  *  enough of that.  so,  josh isn't going to be in debate anymore.
 how tragic. and i mean that with no sarcasm.  because we know stubbs is too much to a monkey fucker to back down.  but oh well,  it's for the best.  i mean.
it's not like he hasn't got lots of other cool meaningful things to do.  but i want to be there when stubbs gets told off.  .  hahaha.  i'm going to enjoy that.  but sort of in a guilty way of course.
i mean. ok so stubbs is an evil republican who sits on stools of evil from OfficeMax,  or whatever the cheap HISD equivalent is to that.  but still. shaft was a bigger asshole than stubbs is and ever will be.  yes josh,
 i know that's hard to believe,  but me and my twin and lesbian lover know that to be false.  and really. i mean if playing favorites isnt the most despicable thing a teacher could ever do,  playing favorites to get back at other teachers surely is.  that is soooo beyond wrong.
 i mean,  even my dad got really pissed off at that and he didn't even take me to the ER when i broke out in hives.  and stubbs, well even though he mighta been doing it just to get back at shaft,  he was still at least very consistently nice to us. i mean.
think about it.  i'll always be grateful for how he treated me and eleanor and meena and yue when our grades were in peril,  our morales in the bottom of the grand canyon,  and how he was teling us not to let him get to us bc he was a big shithead.  now if THAT wasn't comforting,  then i dont know what was.
i mean. he's like,  a pillar of strength.  well maybe not anymore. but at least he's still a pillar.  and that's gotta be better than shaft the shithead running around,
 playing favorites that include doped-  up baseball players who turn out to be pedophiles and get sent to california w/ o even checking out of school.  oh right. add stalkers to that too.  what a year.
i can't forget that though.  gratitude will always go where it is deserved.  but of course. this is just plain low.  and i know where my loyalties lie ( lay?
 man i should have paid more attention in ms.  shepards.  and man. it's killing me inside.  *  enough of that.
 so anyways. i dunno what it is,  prolly just being inside for too long,  but i sort of lost it last night.  i somehow came to this revelation that i had wasted my entire summer and probably much of my life,  and that i've got no higher motivation in life other than to "
get the grade"  and now that school is out and ther's no grades tog et. well i've got nothing to do.  hmm. i mean that whole " make a difference"
 thing is just way to vague for someone like me. oh,  oh i know!  maybe i'll go around being everyone's optimist fairy and reminding them that society is inherently good,  that it always gets better,  and that nobody's life is ever wasted.
 * oh*  look who's talking.  hahaha.  wow,  EVERYONE is telling me to read "
the jungle.  i promise. i'll get around to it.  oh but back to last night.  so after xi signs on and starts trying to brainwash me into his new philosophy " ultimate capitalism good"
 and how he's explaining how atlas shurgged still sucks bc hHIS philosophy includes " obvious necessary rules"  i'm all. i have to go bc i was really not in the mood for this.  so i sit up in bed all night and have " champagne supernova"
 on repeat ( damn that is a good song!  and am making out schedules for the rest of the week.  like detailed,  meticulous schedules.  "
9. 30 AM -  wake up.  eat breakfast of 2 scrambled egs,  toast and OJ.  etc"
 cept i already deviated fromt hat cuz i had milk,  not OJ.  and i've REALLY deviated,  cuz ive only read 1 coral reefs article,  i've not practiced for band yet,  room is still messy (
yah,  again,  i know)  and omg. so much stuff. no initiative.
cept after i talked to yue while lying on the floor for awhile. and now i'm talking to rags again. i feel like being productive.  WOW he is calculating my body fat. and i had to measure my waist. wow i need to eat.
 26. 5" that is insanely unhealthy.  * pops eyes*  ScHIzOgiRrL (
2: 33: 52 PM)  26. 5"  noMOREflab (
2: 34: 19 PM)  YOU ARE UNHEALTHY MY GOD!  noMOREflab ( 2:
34: 27 PM)  BEEGEEZUS!  noMOREflab ( 2: 34:
31 PM)  * shakes head*  ScHIzOgiRrL ( 2: 34:
56 PM)  OMG I KNOW!  ScHIzOgiRrL ( 2: 34: 59 PM)
 i didn't realize it till now noMOREflab ( 2: 35: 05 PM)  Your ponderal index shows - 4.
3%  body fat noMOREflab ( 2: 35: 06 PM)  but ScHIzOgiRrL (
2: 35: 12 PM)  ponderal?  noMOREflab ( 2:
35: 14 PM)  waist size and weight shows 3. 6%  fat noMOREflab ( 2:
35: 17 PM)  which is very very bad ScHIzOgiRrL ( 2: 35: 20 PM)
 hahaha noMOREflab ( 2: 35: 32 PM)  hold on noMOREflab ( 2:
36: 21 PM)  if you remain at 5 4 noMOREflab ( 2: 36: 27 PM)
 you need to be at 112 to be normal noMOREflab ( 2: 36: 28 PM)  cuz noMOREflab ( 2:
36: 33 PM)  anything below that is un- normal noMOREflab ( 2: 36:
40 PM)  cuz right now noMOREflab ( 2: 36: 45 PM)  your BMI is at 16.
7 noMOREflab ( 2: 36: 48 PM)  and the norm is 19. 2 ok,
 enough for now.  rags' 6 pack will return by the beginning of school.  and shari from HH says that the music will be here in 3 days.  i still need to download tommy which reminds me. geez i have to go practice.  but it's alright,
 maybe i can get a nice buz.  signing off jane 
