  I must say I have really gotten used to hating myself. And hitting myself... over and over. Talked to a friend who got into a schizzy high school.
A boarding school w/ some actual choice when it comes to the coursework. I wish I could go to that school. I wish I had kept ALL my friends from Michigan. Is there nothing I do which I don't happen to regret later?
What a screwed up cycle I'm stuck in. Must get out... Gawd there are ppl arguing and a dog barking like mad outside. They sound drunk. Maybe that's where I need to be. Hallucinating. With my bottle of butter rum. mmm that sounds nice. I swear there's going to be a shooting and a dead person here soon. I'm scared of the ppl outside. I'm scared of people. I bet they own guns. Why are they so loud? Oh yea... the window is open.
I wish they would realize that there is a person here so they could come and shoot me. Just for fun. I'm not a sad person, oh no. Never make that mistake. The things that happen to me would not seem so major had it not been for my stupid head which concocts its own morbid ideas. not that the ideas aren't logical. ppl just think they are stupid. they are clearly reasonable to me. 
