  well i suppose i have some making up to do for my absolutely dismal posts the last few weeks. zoo went....dismally. i suppose my insensitivity (or what josh lovingly calls getting over stuff easily) made me not feel it as much as some other ppl, but well basically i came late as always with carly, and we spent the morning together while the "chosen clerical" went over to the commisary to do their thing. i didn't care much, since i much prefer info booth to washing thousands and thousands of grapes for the birds, and honestly and truly we got stuff done. and had fun all the while. but then while sheera and tinting put poor carly! she is such a nice person, and here they are thinking she has changed for the worse and all, when in actuality she is the GREATEST PERSON EVER!!!!!! i mean, shes so fun and jovial and she still gets things done and i can't fucking believe that lauren and yusra and zuhair dont see that. and god bless deb, she is so cool. the COOLEST. EVER!!!!! so anyway, after a puppet show strike (no thanks to lauren), me and carly go over to the DC on detour to the guard shack, and we make butter.
i suppose i shook my jar incompetently and it just turned out as pretty frothy cream so after a demonstration by yue mine turns out - not well, but it turns out. so i refuse salt on advice from yue, and i eat the ritzes. prolly like 4 or 5 which makes me feel a little guilty since im a get some neway but lol ANYWAY......they are addictive. u couldn't even taste the butter. the DC ppl got a kick outa the walking sticks. i miss sarah.
and bennet is AWESOME. days w/o barbara....*heaven*. that is the true meaning of theatrical zoocrew. i hope she fullfills her dream, takes some college math, and gets her teaching degree. for everyone's sake. :-D well basically that was it. went home, and all the stuff happened as yue said. except, right after zoo we saw raghu and she showed him "the scientist". aftre a condescending glance and a nonchalant "i dont play sheet music like that ", the subject was dropped after a few attempts to stimulate convo by saying how horrible i was at it. my dad comes shortly thereafter, and so does raghu's mom. in the car, yue is bothered by it a little bit by how insensitive he is being once again.
but the subject is dropped, and we go to the music store. however, i opened up my email this morning and received a rather long, desperate sounding one from rags and realize they must have had a fight about it. *shakes head* u guys will work it out i promise, u always do, but honestly raghu, u should learn something from these experiences. read the reply. and both of u tell me when this is resolved.......i know it will be. so i played the scientist at HH. wow that's the BEST it's ever been. though i can't control rythyms on either side (or spell rythyms) at least the correct chords were being played in sort of the right places of the melody). but i loved the shiny kiawa!!! damn those stupid overly shiny/yellow buffets. so we come home, i become impatient, we burn the idiot's guide for yue, josh calls, i wait, josh calls again, we go, and i am happy but really anxious and the results of the day. really i am sorry for the both of u if the day turned out as dismally as i fear it has. (OH GOD!!!! I AM WATCHING SOAPS RIGHT NOW........THE WRONGNESS OF IT ALL!!!!!!! ) anyway...i'm so sory!!!!
i really am. i wasn't sure how the compatibility of it all would work out, despite the success with eleanor, bc i mean yue is really watching out for me bc of what's happened before, and i know that really did come out as resentment, and i know josh's being a senior, not too talkative, didn't work out well.. but i love you BOTH! so much!!! yue you are like my twin, my best friend, and i love you for watching out for me!! but trust me when i say, that i know what i am with doing with josh. i suppose you are right, the feelings aren't exactly as strong as with jason (but anyway those feelings were both false and wasted), but this is REAL. i love him. and he loves me. and even though u think i am doing this merely bc i need someone (anyone u think), he is the someone that i need with me. and the lulls...well i can't say that was the best of days. but it doesn't matter. i just love being with him at all.......i love finding out things about him, i love when i telll him things about myself, and i am sure as soon as we have more in common (friends, classes, clubs, grade level?
) then the lulls will stop. but it's ok. we've talked about lulls before, and it's good. it really is. the convent in france will have to wait. oh right, well anyways i'm sure u have the whole ER situation good.
i never ended up going to the ER, but like half an hour after you left my dad came back and he at least called the ER, and after some "is it really necessary to bring her in? " stuff they were just like.....whatever u unfeeling asian parent there's nothng we can do anymore. *rolls eyes*. but it was alright, by that time, i suppose the benadryl had kicked in and the itching wasn't the eternal fires of hell anymore, and i was so tired from being so tense i just went to sleep.
yep, on the couch. but MAN i am so pissed off. i almost wish you had driven me to the ER, but yah that woulda been really really weird. i love you for offering though, and i appreciate you SOO much. but bejesus..... ok, in yue' words, my mom is the typical asian: she'll do something, as long as it doesn't have to do with beaucracy or paperwork etc etc.
she prolly actually woulda driven me if it was just me and her. but my dad. omg...sometimes (most of the time) i think he is the rational one. after all...he drives on highways, made me start playing hte clarinet and quit piano, fought for me so hard to go to bellaire desp potential zoning issues and my flings with both debakey and HSPVA. and he was the one who yelled at my counselor, drove me to all those debate tournaments....wait a minute.
speaking of debate tournaments, he was the one who essentially blamed my not qualling on myself, first and foremost, despite the fact that he had never seen me debate before, i went against crosby A who wanted it so bad they made a new aff, lost the coin flip, and was basically running on an empty tank cuz id been there till midnite both days. -_- so he is schizo. truly and honesty schizo. suppose he puts me on ther ight path to life. but what happens when he wants me to take a detour and i think otherwise?????? i wonder about my parents sometimes. which makes me realize why my friends are my real family. *sigh* ya lublu tebya te amo yo te amo WO AI NI and ani ohevet othach!!!!!!!! i love you guys so much. jane 
