  a few details to accompany the mutual feelings of this other twin. Friday: uneventful. went to the coaches lounge, eleanor came in about half an hour. cold for a few hours, and then i started visitng the tab room and judges' lounge a little more. oh right, jackson wu and some band ppl came by, but hte coaches got pissed off and stubbs came and told us not to let everyone in. trey forced a reconciliation.
thank GOD. poor eleanor, she's been going through a lot, just like the rest of us. yue's dad asked us where she was, i think she went to bennigan's. when did you fall??? Saturday: here is where the real story begins. 6:30 - i get up and go to AC.
i feel cheery, and i wonder why the hell i'm getting up so early. it's a little chilly, and dark so i can't see the clouds yet. when i get to the circle drive, most of them are there and we leave fairly soon. i get in the car with andrew and i realize later that day that it's happening again. just like last year, the "A" team are all friends. they've got a clique.
just like last year. but they're too arrogant to admit it now. 12:30 - well, we just lost 3 out of 4 rounds, two more of which we SHOULD have won. too close to tell, it was like a 5 point difference. dammit. and it was my fault too.
lunch rolls around. things are pretty bad anyway. larissa feels horrible, and josh is being....josh. he's not a bad guy. which makes it all the more worse when he talks to everyone around me. rice is having a booksale.
i got "hamlet". how fitting.....oh, and i got coffee too. who knew subway made (really bad) coffee? 2:30 - hurrah, hurrah. it turns out we're hitting our own team now. yes yes....Bellaire B against hte formidable A. how unfair, how embarassing.
how painful that we lost like 50 to 230. how embarassing that josh shook my hand three times in good sportsmanship, and how i secretly wanted them/him to lose in the two rounds they had after it. 6:30 - they're pretty good people. the scorekeeper mistakenly said they won, but ms brison and mr peek had a tie. they had a sudden death tiebreaker, and they lost to st. john's. go figure...that's what happened last year. when we leave, i thought i had to go ride with josh but ms brison took me.
i call meena and she says they'll wait for me to get back before they go to bennigan''s. eric, kelly, nick, and andrew and i go out to dinner. after some indecision, we go to los tios in meyerland. damn, they've got good enchiladas. i think the new tuna is refried beans. 8:30 - i get back to bellaire.
wow, am i happy. after convincing nick to actually drop me off CLOSE to the multipurpose room, and i'm really happy. i let my hair down in the restroom right before we left los tios and i guess that sort of symbolically meant something.....i'm on this crazy hi.....sugar and caffeine and relief and regret all mixed into one. i see yue, and eleanor, and rags and kim and julia and all the people......trey.....stubbs.....where is mr rach? i go to the debate room and there he is....you know what he says? R: "Hey....there you are.
you look different....." J: [points to hair] "i'm wearing my hair down. " R: "Well, keep it up it looks great. you should do it more" *sigh* and that's all i was looking for hte whole day. AC went horrible. it was raining the whole day. i got dirty, wet, stepped on, ignored, and i feel like for a good reason.
dammit, i'm joining acadec. 10:30 - we all go to dinner. i'm high and drunk. we all go to bennigan's after judging LD finals. is it just me or is debate ruining all our friends? oh RIGHT.
it IS. bennigan's....yah. right before we left, rach looked so freaking tired. poor guy. he's so tired normally, this must've killed him. he needs a vacation.
we all need a vacation. 11:30 - bennigan's. everone looks so happy, except for ingrid. meh, i can deal with this. talking talking....drinking drinking....eating eating. laughing.
smiling. ooh, let's make spirit sticks! i've got ballots............. "rach, hang on ok? yue, hold hte phone "hey everyone!!! let's have a toast to a great BFT! " *cheers* "spriti sticks.... and it all falls apart.
noone is happy anymore. avinash is being an especial bastard by staring me full in the face is saying "jane, this is STUPID. what the fuck are you trying to do? go SIT DOWN" "shut up avinash. " me and yue go to the bathroom. linda comes in, i put on a smile and give her hte last spirit stick.
jon u little fucker, i never thought u deserved one. i come out. something is bothering kim. dammit, this is going so badly now. 12:30 - and everyone tries to go home....we have 2 cars: chang nad justin. xi and jon call their respective parents.
alessia is being demanding. julia is still being wonderful. meena...oh meena. naeem what hte hell has happened to you? this is too much. dont be so self destructive.
i can't stay and watch. chang..i know u can drive better than that. the roads are wet. we're out past curfew. goddamit dont make a u-turn here! 1:30 - i'm home.
alessia and meena are home. safe. i'm worried about julia. she's still with them. i'm home.....i'm taking a shower..... i'm emailing rachnow. geez, i haven't talked to him in so long, he's like the only thing keeping debate alive (for me anyway).
and now eleanor can't take it. poor girl. poor rach. poor everyone. i'm telling him everything - how AC sucks, how debate sucks, how i was going to switch to ld, how everyone is being so evil after i was so happy. DAMMIT.
--------------- and now it's today. i'm lonely, i'm procrastinating again. watching tv. i miss josh. i miss the way debate used to be: with all the people....without hte stress. i want rach to be happy.
he's a good guy. and now i've got to work. i told myself i'd work when i got up. that was at 4. i told myself i'd work at 7. that was an hour and a half ago. and now i'll "work" when i'm done blogging. i've got xi's tie.
a comfort. ~i'll have my facade on as long as i need it, because i'm not a genius~ jane 
