  wow. blogger is pretty unsafe. i tried to click on yue's link for pics, only to discover that it was taking awhile to load, so i clicked on back to just write a post,, and then go look at pics. -_- and it actually took me BACK! to here....the unsafeness of it all. sheesh.
well anyway, as yue says, we did have rather...er.....discussion about pretty sensitive subjects. everyone we know is a prude. just about........rags, the most, abraham says SOMETHING at least....and well jason and kyle. u know how thye are. not that they are tell all, but if u ask a Q they will say everything that anyone could want to know. that we didn't want to know it, but if we hadn't, it would have been odd.
not that we are great terms or anything either. wow, and now blogger is constantly renewing the same pages with the posts. oh....apparently i have DHTML on THIS computer so it works out nice. i think it's cuz i've neglected to update my IE on that one. sheesh. it's the same.....!
anyway........not much to say except a bunch of literary comments. Tender is the Night - has got to be hte second best book i've EVER read. damn you jane austin..u really suck. dont even get me started on what a phony dickens is. Daniel Defoe, i forgive you. u are still welcome in my sphere of influence.
The Catcher in the Rye - has got to be the BEST book i've EVER EVER EVER read. yue says there is no point. at this point i cant really deny that, since i haven't found the point either. but really......it feels like thre IS one. i'm going to go read the cliff notes to it and see what the point is. anyway, i still think it's great.
the digressions, the swearin, the run on sentences just about kill me. see? now i'm even talking like holden. holden caulfield.....man tha'ts gotta be the sexiest name ever. haha maybe i just like it bc it reminds me of my unedited manuscript, cept it's actually somewhat interesting and non-party of fivish. or, it could just be because he is in love with a girl named jane who he wont call.
oh well. what ever it is, i was up really late last night analyzing my life bc of it. im such a wreck. damn you atlas shrugged. i'm a cynical, sarcastic bitch. everything that comes from my mouth is a cynicism.
not that i am not happier, but what is it really? it's.......nothing. i have no feelings. i am devoid of any non-objective emotions. i am not ever insanely happy, nor does anything ever move me to tears anymore besides cheesy movies. i can't even pretend that i love anyone anymore.
of course, i really care for all of u guys and i worry about ur helathy/safety/feelings and all but.......that feeling. where your chest just wells up and you feel like ur going to burst from the warmth. yah, it's gone. replaced merely by a feeling of surprise. this is the most shallow part of it all but i can't even feel anything for a guy anymore. i, who used to fal in love with guys over the internet.
i know it's not that the right one hasn't come along. there are so many people who are worthy of me getting a little teary. and i just can't. damn me and my philsophy. i dont even know who i am anymore. i'm......INGRID (symbolically, i actually admire her quite a bit.).
i'm losing my chinese values. i dont want to. but i try to lose them purposely. and i try to plunge myself in a world of western capitalism and stoicism. but i hate it when i'm there. AHHHHH.
damn you! and i hope the "you" is understood. anyway, enough of that. i still dont get how yue's foot can get run over and her not be.....u know, in a cast or something. i'm worrying about hairline fractures.......or what u can call worrying inside me. i'm sorry about ur parents.
they are crazy. they really are. the room searching is horrible too.....*sigh*. but we all go thru that. yes, even me and my schizo parents. i wonder, how is liang.
she seems happier lately. itinerary (to remind myself of things to do): coffee all week; i hope theye njoy the brownines. yes stefan, i've made more cake. tues: english and geo final. storm the admin. go home.
slack off. study. wed: geometry. meet hotze. (maybe....a good thing? ) argue for evil.
AC practice. go home. slack off. study thurs: bio and debate. suck up a lot if my storming the admin hasn't been enough. movies.
relax. no wait..i 'll read some more. fri: planning for/going to picnic. sat: go shopping. must get some "conservative shorts" for the zoo. also, buy a dessert for the AC party.
i wonder...pie or cake? or something else....cookies? hmm...i'll ask josh. go to party. mingle with people who will save my soul. sunday..........sleep.
relax. possibly go swimming for hte first time in forever. early morning, deffinitely. play tennis. jog. get exercise.
be good to my body. try to recover my sanity in the solace of physical stress. then ti's off to graduation where i can lose my mind again. damn you ragz for getting out of it. i wonder, what shall i wear? oh right.....greeeennnn.
one of these days this summer, i think i will go on a spree of debate clothes. (haha yue....) but i saw some disposable swimsuits in seventeen. what's the deal with that? how r they disposable?. are htye disposable only cuz they're cheap or cuz they're easy to put on, or what? i dont get it.
but they look nice so i think i want some. except i prolly couldnt work it. haha. me and my boyish figure. but i still figure i have more hips than guys. one oft hose "sensitive issues".
lol. Ie is still constanly renewing the bottom window. scary. 
