  i've got nothing much to say. i'm tired. that's basically it. i stayed up late studying geography last night. of course i would have been to sleep 2 hours earlier if eleanor hadn't called wanting help with geometry. not that i am mad, i love it.
i love being a teacher. i'd either be a teacher or a writer when i grow up. but here's seomthing weird. i am sucha hypocrite. i tell ppl not to rely on intentions. i do the same.
i tell ppl t o focus. i surely am not. i tell ppl to calm down and stop being immature. put me next to josh and i'm such a baby. but the thing i feel like writing today is basically, me comforting myself that it's ok to be shallow. selfishness i got down like *snap*, but i need to stop being shallow.
i'd always prided myself on not caring if a guy was all weird u know, or if a friend was not hte brightest crayon in the box. but seriously....i think thre needs to be some limits. i will give anyone a chance, i really will to expect me to not reject someone i think is horribly dull or boring or stupid would just be denying who i am. i refuse to settle. i do not dumb down who i am. but i refuse to sit there and spoonfeed a normal conversatipn to someone.
just as i refuse to pretend something about someone is not true, if i dont like it. i'm sick of it. i'll do what i want. and as shallowly as i can. but then again.......i'm a huger hypocrite than that. lately i've been noticing that all i do is critique my friend's guys.
for example, all i do whenever rags calles yue is just yell aat him and fight. i'm sorry i dont mean to be so ....... cynical and sarcastic and a bitch. really i am. i hope ur feeling kewler. and just today i told liang that "he" was a condescending little jerk. how hypocritical of me to day, when jason is probably the evillest of them all, and that i still go for that authoritative, arrogant attitude.
infact, i demand it. how i can i detest him for hunching over when i myself go for most chubby guys? i need to calm down. sheesh. i'm tired. party moved to next week, too many ppl busy, and i'm too pooped out.
now all i have to worry about is the AC party. and then starting work at hte zoo. and crap. and getting meena to finish AS so i can give it to eleanor. that book should come with a warning "WARNING: May wash your brain and cause extreme sarcasm, cynicism, arrogance, and egoism. " oh right, the reason i was evil is egoism may not be the same thing as egotism, but it sure does lead that way, which is why i need to turn back around.
but u know what, i think i'd trade all the attention and glamour and succes in the world for some peace. xi gasped when is aid that, and i was offended htat he did so. if someone offered me to bypass the glory waiting for me in school and a career, i'd accept if i'd get a husband, a couple kids, and a farm in new zealand in exchange. plus a few good books. i'm so tired. 
