  Rise and Fall... taking a look back on what has transpired over my life in general... change is the only constant... good or bad... growth or backslide... this is me. i've been wondering why lately i've been interested books that test my faith... maybe coz i've been reading Dan Brown 's books.
they may be fictional events, but the facts are true. i finished the Da Vinci Code a few weeks ago and i'm currently immersed in Angels & Demons . i have 2 books that are in my To Read list: Templar Revelation and The Dark Side of Catholicism ( if i had the title right ). quick info... i used to be a servant in our church community. first, a member of the children's choir... then an altar servant... then a leader of a youth group.
now, i don't even give a f*ck what happens in the youth group i was affiliated to... sometimes i intentionally miss Sunday mass... i don't even pray at night. what has happened to my faith? am i too engrossed in the world and its pursuits that i forget that i am answerable to a higher power? or am i not convinced anymore that the prophets are indeed telling the truth? prophets... the Bible was written by prophets with the inspiration of their faith in God.
but aren't all prophets only human and subject to their own biases? some books were written way after the transpiration of the events they describe. it has been said that because the Bible was originally written in ancient scrolls and subsequently translated to more understandable language, some parts have been dutifully editted. some Gospels didn't even make it to the modern day Bible because they portray Jesus more as a human than as a Messiah.
anybody know where i can find a compilation of the Gnostic Gospels? bottomline... i find myself difficult to be convinced by human works and propaganda. just like politicians, priest and pastors are tasked to convince and lead the faith... but aren't they all but human? they have flaws, they make mistakes... quite frankly, i don't wish to place my faith under the guidance of someone who makes mistakes. i can make my own mistakes, i do not need anyone to make them for me. ==== this for now... more change is imminent. 
