  Today, I watched The Return of the King . Mood: Tired Music: "Ashita moshi kimi ga kowaretemo" by Wands Currently: Sulking Currently At: Home [tiredly sings along to Winamp] I love this song. Yes, I watched RotK. And before you ask me what I thought of it, I think I must tell you all something. I LOVE THE LORD OF THE RINGS. I love Tolkien.
I adored the book. I adored the FotR movie. I thought the TTT movie was pushing it a little. I hated the RotK movie. HATED it. It was TERRIBLE.
And the Legolas on the oliphaunt scene was the poorest CG I've ever seen. It's right up there with Fantastic Journey *. Way to go, PJ, you made my day. * For those in the dark, a lame sci-fi movie released in the 1960s. Special effects included lots of flashing lights and smoke. Basically, man gets sick.
Scientists shrink little mobile thing with people inside. Little mobile thing goes into sick man. FANTASTIC JOURNEY HAPPENS. Not only that, but they totally downplayed the Faramir/Eowyn relationship, which happens to be my favorite Tolkien pairing ever (barring Beren & L&uacute;thien). And Denethor's death was comic relief . The damned thing was supposed to be climactic and seen as the fall of the Gondorian stewards, not as some fireball tumbling off a cliff!
And what else? Oh, yeah, they're missing the entire Scouring of the Shire, Celeborn crosses the Sea, Frodo and Sam act nastily slashy, they downplayed the entire Dernhelm vs. Witchking scene, which pisses the shit out of me because I love Eowyn and I think she's the most awesome character in LotR (except for Glorfindel and Faramir). Celeborn crosses the fucking sea. The hell? He's supposed to stay in Middle Earth, rename Mirkwood with Thranduil, live in Lothlorien, miss his wife, go to Mirkwood, and live with.. Thranduil! He's not supposed to go on the ship!
And they left Legolas and Gimli in Middle Earth! Are they implying that they dropped dead after Aragorn became King? Or that he turned corrupt and started hacking people in half, and that the ship was an attempt to flee the horrible twisted king of Gondor? Though I will admit, the CG was beautiful in the majority of the scenes. Gollum was done insanely well, the Eagles were convincing, the Dead were convincing, Minas Morgul was gorgeous, the oliphaunts didn't look pixelated, and... everything was beautiful. BUT... that stupid scene with Legolas and the oliphaunt very nearly destroyed the entire movie.
Die, Leggy fangirls, die. I will finish this shortly. Shortly: And the people around me were bitches. What is the point of bringing a fucking three-year old to a PG-13 movie? Y'know what I say we do? I say we take the crying little shithole in the second-to-last row and chuck him to the row of brainless Legolas fangirls in the first row.
UTOPIA. 
