  the first and last post about the message board thing I promise I have been there for 3 years, have over 6000 posts, and was a moderator. They should know me well enough to know that I am not a bitch. I was raised w/ manners and class (a fuckload more than some of the girls on that board I can assure you) so why do the girls that I considered friends for a long time now judge me as of poor breeding, with bad manners, etc.
In case you're wondering, it is all conveniently written in a half-assed internet advice column urlLink here Except not in great detail and not really very accurately. She certainly wasn't the sole reason we went to visit that city. We went to see each other. The cookout was a "hey everyone's going to be in town, why don't yall come to my house for dinner" casual thing. Certainly not a party held in our honor. And the level of dirtiness and crazy in Ms L is far far too much to detail. You wouldn't believe me. Trust me. No one else did. But we could not have eaten in that house.
Could not do it. I have a big problem w/ potlucks and such in general. You just never know how clean someone's house is. But to see something in person and then willingly eat there? No. Plus this girl seems a bit crazy. I always read her website thinking she was hilarious, nutty in a fun way. Everything taken separately is funny and just a tad weird. Everything taken together and in real life is just too much. So Jen, who I'm strongly suspecting is insane as well, was the first one to decide that we weren't going to the cookout. But she is blaming me and another girl. She has apparently been emailing anyone and everyone to tell her made up fantasy land version of what happened.
So everyone on the boards blames us, even maybe hates us. So we've left the boards. I didn't feel I had a choice. Now a former stripper/heroin junkie and current cokehead/prelaw student has referred to us as the "two founding members of the sullen homely fat girl army" Fat girl. ok. bitchy, but true. Sullen? Homely? I don't fucking think so, bitch. And no one stepped up to defend us or to say hey that was harsh, etc.
No one. I wish like hell I hadn't read that. My natural curiosity (read: nosiness) got the better of me. I really really wish I hadn't sent the link to the other girl that the post refers to. I keep thinking about an old saying "the one who repeats an insult is insulting you" And I don't want it to come across that way. I don't want her to be hurting as much as I am hurting. I read that last night and started crying. And somehow I didn't want to be alone in this horrible knowledge. I'm selfish I guess. So I'm sad.
mourning the loss of the refuge that I've had for three years. Mourning the loss of good (well, I thought they were good) friendships. Internet friendships true, but some of them I've talked to on the phone, or met in person. Women that I thought I was happy to have in my life. My husband says that what can I expect when a bunch of women get together? women are catty. Women are backstabby. and I try not to believe that but am wondering. I've always been friends with men more than women.
These were some of the best female friendships I've had in awhile. I hate to lose that. It's really really over though. Before the fat girl army comment I thought that I could go back and post every once in awhile. but I can't do it. I left junior high a long time ago and have no desire to go back. 
