  'If you are full up, you can use anything to see Mister God. You can't if you are not full up...If you are full up, you don't need it (the cross) 'cos the cross is inside you. If you're not full up, you have the cross outside of you and then you make it a magic thing. ' She spoke quietly and slowly:'If you're not full up inside you, then you can make anything a magic thing, and then it becomes an outside bit of you...If you do that, then you can't do what Mister God wants you to do...Love everybody like you love yourself, and you've got to be full up with you to love yourself properly first.
' She smiled. 'Fynn, there ain't no different churches in heaven 'cos everybody in heaven is inside themselves...It's the outside bits that make all the different churches and synagogues and temples and things like that. Fynn, Mister God said "I am", and that's what He wants us all to say - that's the hard bit. ' '"I am" ....that's the hard bit. ' 'I am'. Really get around to saying that and you're home, really mean it and you're full up, you're all inside. You don't have to want things outside you to fill up the gaps inside you. You don't leave bits of you hanging around on objects in shop-windows, in catalogues or on advertisement hoardings. Wherever you go you take your whole self with you, you don't leave bits lying around to get stamped on, you're all of a piece, you're what Mister God wants you to be. An 'I am', like He is. Hell's bells! All this time I had thought that going to church was in order to look for God, for praising Him.
It didn't dawn upon me what Mister God was doing. All this time He had been working overtime trying to knock a bit of sense into my noddle, trying to turn an 'It is' into an 'I am'. I got the message. I was beginning to get the hang of this 'I am' stuff. Considering how important it was to Mister God, I was finding it not too impossible to cope with.
The tricky bit was looking inside yourself to see what bits of the works were missing. Once you'd overcome that hurdle the rest was fairly simple. My first real peek inside myself caused me to slamm the door in a hurry. 'That's me in there! ' Holy cow, I looked more like an overgrown Gruyere cheese, full of holes. After getting over the shock, I opened the door a crack and took another peek. It wasn't long before I was able to identify one of the holes. It was shaped like a motor-bike. What's more, I recognised that hole. It was an exact fit of the motor-boke in the shop-window down the High Street.
After some practice it became more and more easy to identify the holes...Somewhere down the line it had all gone wrong. I was certain that I hadn't started out with these holes. It was those damned banners that kept on cropping up:'Get on', 'Get ahead'. 'A motorbike makes you someone', 'A car is even better', 'Two cars, and. brother, you've hit the jackpot. ' I had fallen for it, hook, line and sinker. The banners were inside of me and they were rooted in pretty fertile soil.
THe more banners were inside me, the more bits of me were outside me. 'Most of a person is outside'. You can say that again. Like a child learning a new word, I found myself struggling with 'I want to be me', 'I do want, I really do want to be ME'. ~'Mister God, this is Anna' by Fynn 
