  After my Indy visit, quite a few people have asked me to write on my F1 experience; to publish a dream-come-true report of the race, as well as a personal journalistic write-up on Schumacher's "Greatness", after watching some truly scintillating racing. It took me a while for the F1 hangover to die down, to get over the post-race exhilaration. I haven't had enough time to think and write my version of the Indy diary. Not having enough time is not the greatest of excuses I can think of (even if it means trying to hide my own disappointment). First of all, no excuse can really cure the feeling of disappointment. Secondly, in order to write on an experience as dream-come-true as this one, merely having "spare" time on a weekend hardly makes things in favor of writing.
Take for instance the last couple of Sundays. On both occasions, I planned on making a head-start towards writing the report. Going through what I call as "A blogger's labor pains", I laboriously spent a couple hours on each of those Sundays, trying to "key"-down my thoughts. Not that I thought it would be easy. I was perfectly aware that going about writing a first-hand report of Indy would be well-nigh difficult. It was a four-hour struggle that involved establishing a connection between the thoughts in my mind and using the keys on the keyboard to express those thoughts. But there's been a relatively quick change of opinion; "quick" because four hours of giving a shot at writing a pretty detailed story is perhaps not as painstaking as it seems (for someone who enjoys writing more than talking), and even if it is painstaking, it ideally shouldn't lead to a "I-give-up" reaction. You guessed it, that is what I've exactly managed to do after my tryst with self-tooted journalism! I always want to let my writing do the talking (tongue seriously in cheek), a (somewhat proud) fact which some of my close friends know quite well.
However, I have to conclude that writing this stuff is well-nigh impossible for me, and nobody can make me change this opinion. Here is a flowchart of my activities in those hours: 1. Start with a few carefully and laboriously chosen words and/or sentences and type them. 2. Hit the backspace key at the exact instant where you are about to end your sentence and finish with a period.
(Time for labor pains to crop up). 3. Keep hitting the backspace key until you erase the whole sentence, forcing yourself to think and re-think and re-type. 4. Go into the "re-examination" mode with a sip of hot coffee. (Coffee acts as a narcotic and seems to ease the pains a bit for me). 5. Go to Step 1. Sheer agony is all I can say. If not for a phone call that broke the flow for 45 minutes, this 5-step process could've easily turned into an infinite loop.
When I finally slumped into my chair and was all set to bang my head against the keyboard, I recalled my friend Karthika saying - "Life gets tough when you try to express greatness through mere words...". It's a sign that I am perhaps better off being a computer scientist (a much more respectable word these days, even if all it means is being a computer science major ). Isn't life already tough enough!?
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