  Im crazy. Honestly. This isn’t something new though, ive always been crazy. Well, maybe not always. But…at least since junior high. Im not exactly sure what caused it. Probably a combination of the two things that have the biggest influence on what I think and believe...and that would be my friends and my books.
Yes, books. Its probably a bad thing, but I tend to put a lot of credence in what I read. I try to only read good books, though. I mean, when I have a choice. So anyway, im crazy, right? And im not crazy in that psycho-lives-in-a-shack-in-the-woods-wants-to-kill-everyone kind of way. Im more crazy in a way where im too idealistic and too dependant and too…I don’t know. All I know is, I don’t even live in this world.
I live in a word made of select pieces of this one. I live in a world where anything is possible if you try hard enough. Anything. I mean, not things like “I want to build a skyscraper so high it reaches the moon” because that’s impossible. But things like keeping a friend for your entire life. Things like changing the world. Real things. You could say a skyscraper is more real than a friendship, but its not. Really, its not. Its much much much less real. A building does not comfort you, a building does not make you laugh, a building does not make you feel like you make a difference, a skyscraper is a solid structure built so people could have more space to work.
sure, you can touch it, it exists in space and time, but it does not touch you. When you close your eyes it disappears, when you lie in bed alone at night, you cannot feel it. This is what it is like to be real. A friendship is real. My world is made of realities and unrealities as well, as they are necessary.
But anything is possible in my world. And nothing ever changes without your permission. And no one ever has anything better to do on Friday night than sleepover with you and stay up till 3 am…or better yet, never sleep at all. And it doesn’t matter that you don’t have anything to talk about. All that matters is that its worth it to you to deny your body rest in favor of something much more valuable…time with the people you love. Because although your body might hold a grudge for a few days, your peace of mind will thank you. And its always worth taking a break from your homework to send a few emails. And its never dangerous or foolish to stand out in a thunderstorm and get soaking wet and just have fun.
And you always keep talking even if you only get one word answers, because even if no ones listening, at least youre trying, and at least you care enough to try, and as long as you still care, its still worth it.
And in my world life is fair. Bad things don’t happen to good people. As long as you always try to be the best person you can be, try to make the right choices, try to do whats right, and make a difference in a few peoples’ lives, then you’ve lived a worthwhile life and you deserve whatever it is you want. And no one in my world ever wants something stupid…like 103 million dollars…all anyone ever wants is to love and be loved. And theres no Stevenson, no society, no…world to ever get in the way and make it hard for something to exist that was never anything but beneficial to the growth and happiness of the citizens of my world. And no ones ever without someone else they can always talk to, without someone else who can understand them without any explanation.
And you can read minds in my world. It isn’t even that hard. And everyone understands whats really important to you, and whats really important in life, and you don’t have to do the things that are pointless and stupid. And when you don’t want people to ask you whats wrong, they don’t. and you can cry if you wan to, and no one will think youre depressed and no one will try to get you to explain if you don’t want to. And in my world, you never lose that glint of excitement in your eyes that tells whoever bothers to look that youre infatuated to the core. And youre always missed when you go on vacation. And there are always lots of emails waiting for you when you come back. And one will always say “youre coming home tomorrow!” and you always have a note to read on the airplane because that’s when you start to realize its going to be lonely.
And if all you want to do is dream, then you can dream, and no one will tell you its stupid. And you can be idealistic, and you never have to worry about facing the real world, and the fact that people arent always nice, and things don’t always work out the way you want them to. And you are always loved and you can always close your eyes and smile because you know, deep down, that you matter to someone.
And its of no importance how far away this person is, or how long its been since you saw them, or anything. Because you still matter to them, and they still love you because its impossible for them not to. But in my world we don’t believe in possibles and impossibles. There is only what matters and what doesn’t matter. All things that matter and that are deeply important are possible. And in my world, “Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude.
Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) and if you wish to do something out of love, it will always be possible. I could go on, but I think ive talked enough about my world. Maybe ill tell you some more about it later.
it’s a wonderful place, its really quite a shame it isn’t entirely real. But who would want things this way anyway? I must be crazy, huh? 
