  so i love how im in such a good mood yesterday and saturday and this morning and then i get to school and its all downhill from there... and i love how i was relatively happy about emily things until this ms walk buisness which bugged me. because its like shes choosing new friends over old friends, over me.... like she always does. but then i was thinking on teh bus on the way home and im like "you know, this is stupid, give her some respect, im sure she has her reasons. you trust her enough to know shes not choosing to not go just to spite you. ask her why she wants to go to special olymics so badly. " so i called her about an hour ago just to talk and i only got to talk for like 15 minutes cuase she made me leave so she could do her homework, but i asked her why and she said "because special olympics was one of the things i had the most fun doing last year" or something... so i guess thats some justification.
if she truly enjoyed it a lot, then fine, let her go. amanda wants emily to be happy, right? maybe amanda will call emily from the ms walk to bother her at special olympics. i love how something like that can totally ruin my moderately good mood though... how i can never just be free from worrying about emily stuff. i want freedom! amanda has been calling emily a lot lately.
because amanda wants to have a real conversation with emily at least once a week or so, otherwise she feels lonely. and i was pretty much busy all weekend, which sucks, so i didnt get to call her on saturday when she can actually talk. :'(. but, oh well, i guess. i think i might have to call her from arizona. i just might have to.
ive never called anyone here from az before, but i just might do it. if she doesnt get online, what other choice do i have? be lonely or forget about normal life? ha, no. my vacations from normal life would are the times when i actually see emily. i was just thinking about how im going to visit colleges in california this summer...and mudd is in california.
not that i want to go to mudd, cause im pretty sure i dont from what ive heard, but if i do find a college i really like, that might be cool. what if emily and i went to college in the same state? thatd be awesome. but...no... dont think about that. im not going to choose my college based on my friends' colleges. thats not hte way to go about it... and i know it.
yeah, so other people have been really annoying me lately. i dont know what the deal is, i guess its just getting to mehow much life has changed and how much time i spend with people i dont want to see/talk to...and how i really really wish i could be spending that time with other people i do want to talk to. like mornings when i want our old mornings back an di want emily back. ...but i always want emily back. so speaking of wants... hmm...this might go on my lj...but...i intend to write about wants. 
