  Warning: nbsp;  Long Post!  For the longest time,  I've been simultaneously career- wise coasting and angry/ frustrated at my lack of career satisfaction. nbsp;  I've come to the conclusion that 1)  given my interest in forensics and 2)
 my lack of a science background,  I must go back to school as an undergraduate ( full- time)  and get that academic background,  then proceed to either grad school or medical school to specialize and/ or get a job in the field to acquire the work background end of it.
nbsp;
 So far,  so good.
nbsp;
 What's the problem,  you ask?
nbsp;
 I mean,  I already have an undergraduate degree &  graduated with honors.
nbsp;
 I did well in a recent basic level Biology class.
nbsp;
 OK,
 so what's the what?
nbsp;
 Well,  it's this little thing called procrastination.
nbsp;
 Completing the applications is no biggie. except for the essay and recommendations.
nbsp;
 It's partly about representing myself &  my goals. perhaps that I doubt admissions staff will consider them " worthy"  -  not enough frills like&
nbsp;
community service,  not the naive optimism of an 18- year- old,  etc,  etc.
nbsp;
 It's partly because as in all my writing,  I agonize over every little word.
nbsp;
 It'll take me a week of revisions to finish a one- page essay.
nbsp;
 And the recommendations?
nbsp;
 I just hate having to ask people to say nice things about me.
nbsp;
 So I put off the whole thing,  and put it off,  and put it off.
nbsp;
 Meanwhile,  I'm exactly where I don't want to be:
nbsp;
 getting older,  dragging my ass to work every day,  just about as motivated as you'd expect.
nbsp;
 There's another task about which I've been procrastinating for about a year.
nbsp;
 In our apartment building there's a front- desk guy,  David Young,  who has always been super:
nbsp;
 pleasant,  courteous,  helpful in general &
nbsp;
especially with a&
nbsp;
very specific problem we were having with our next- door neighbor last year.  Now,  I keep telling myself I must write- up a commendation letter to David's supervisor,  singing his praises.
nbsp;
 I've even drafted a letter on my laptop.
nbsp;
 So,  it's there,  waiting to be completed.
nbsp;
 No biggie.
nbsp;
 Yet,  the thing is not done.
nbsp;
 Now,  this is just plain laziness.  Why did I choose to write ad nauseum about this problem today?
nbsp;
 a.
nbsp;
 Self- therapy to examine one of my many issues b.
nbsp;
 To talk ad nauseum about something,  in print c.
nbsp;
 To light a fire under my lazy,  self- doubting buttocks d.
nbsp;
 To share with others what must be a common malady e.
nbsp;
 All of the above.  If you answered "
e,
 you would be correct;  however,
 "
c"  is the primary reason.  Remember ( and I must too)
 you can't finish something if you don't start it.
nbsp;
 That said,  don't let it go too long before jumping in again.
nbsp;
 Yeh,  that and self- doubt keeps you in the parking lot.  Update 7/ 29/ 04 :
nbsp;
 Well,
 I shamed myself into action:
nbsp; nbsp;
I finished&
nbsp;
the commendation letter and&
nbsp;
delivered it!  Yeah!
nbsp;
 One less item of guilt.
nbsp;
