  Nick: Post Ass Fucking. That may look like a strange headline, but wait till you here the story of how I got ass fucked to begin with. Before I start, I would like to take this opportunity to address a couple quick things, I realize that what happens in this story is probably my fault, but I 'd like to believe in a world where corporations don't take every single opportunity to sexually assault their customers and rape the faith that they (the cusotmers) have in them (the corporation).
I am overdrawn at my bank right now. I had 11 transactions that did not clear. I had 162.00 in my account. That money was sufficient to cover all those transactions save one, a 227.00 purchase. So which one does the bank push through first? The big one. Instead of incurring one 28.00 dollar service fee for one overdraft, I have incurred 11. I went to speak with the "Customer Service" representative from the Local BANK OF AMERICA and they said it was becasue "...big purchases are probably more important, so we do those first. " There is no logic in this statement. Just becasue a purchase is large, does not mean it is important. The important thing to them is this, instead of making 28.00 dollars off of me, they are going to get 308.00 becasue of the order they put my transactions through. They could have made my day by helping me out, instead they chose to fuck me hard right in my ass.
I will be closing my account at BANK OF AMERICA as soon as this debacle is taken care of. I would never push my opinion off on other people, but I suggest that if you bank with BANK OF (fucking) AMERICA (in it's ass) that you consider moving your funds to another financial institute, perhaps one that doesn't hold their customers down and stick splintered broom handles into their rectums. I reiterate: This was mostly my fault, but they could have made it a lot less painful. They had the power to do it, and they didn't.
That is not corporate responsibility, and I am fucking furious. Also: The 227.00 purchase was from CRANDON AND CRANDON optometrists, here in Lawrence, and the purchase did not clear my bank for SIX (6) days. I paid with my check card, for God's sake. I partly blame the technology and partly blame CRANDON AND CRANDON, for their idiocy. The whole thing has made me sick to my stomach, and I intend to go throw up. Right on BANK OF AMERICA'S door. GODDAMMIT! 
