  We Am Smrat! So, in the daytime, before the Bison incident, we were at a place called Mammoth Hot Springs. (MHS) It is named as such because, either, there are Mammoths there, or there are large Hot Springs. I don't remember which. Whatever the reason, the place is a urlLink biscuit from Montana. It had already been snowing for a day and a half, so we said "Hey, why not go farther north?
" This, for me, was the coolest part of the trip. I seriously enjoyed MHS, for real. No sarcasm. I liked it. Got it? I will post some wicked pictures of it towards the bottom of this post, so keep a goddamn eye out for those. I said goddamn because I hadn't cursed up until then. I needed to. I wonder if I can put a swear in each fucking sentence I write? That would be the shit. I know my damn Mom wouldn't like it. Relax, I'm just kidding you sunsabitches.
In MHS springs, there are these terraced thermal events. It's really strange. The water flows out of the earth and flattens the rock it's on then it flows down to the next rock and flattens that one, and so on, until there are several tiers of rock. urlLink Kind of like if Salvador Dali built stairs for a living. These terraces go all the way down the side of a mountain. For some reason I got a bug up my ass to climb this fucking mountain. Now all of you that read this probably know what I look like, but for those of you who don't my body isn't exactly mountain climbing material. My body is more streamlined for sitting in recliners and eating Cheetos. I wasn't sure if a fat dude trying to climb a mountain a mile and a half above sea level was even possible, but, DAMMIT, I had to try! At first I beat up an old lady and stole her Rascal but that sumbitch gave out at 6500 ft. Piece of shit. (by the by, if you have never seen an old lady plummeting down a mountain unstoppably, I highly recommend it) So I had to hoof it the rest of the way. My heart tried to escape my chest using an intricate system of levers and pulleys, but I managed not to let it escape. So, yay me. If there was one upside to getting up there it was that I, in all my perfect eyesight glory, could see for-fucking-ever.
It was amazing. I also have pictures of that. The climb counteracted the fact that it was 28 degrees or some shit. Before we went to MHS, we went to Old Faithful (OF). You can't go to Yellowstone and not see OF. That's like going on the internet without seeing some titties, just doesn't happen. It's not that OF is a heavenly sight to behold (like titties) or that it is overly impressive, It's just that OF is pretty much the reason that there is a National Park there in the first place.
You kind of have to go pay your respects, like a Mafia boss. Old Faithful is, indeed, faithful as the name seems to suggest. But only if you have a sister who knows how to tell time. See, we went into the Lodge/Mall that was right in front of OF to warm up (it was snowing) and they had this huge fucking schedule right on the wall that said when the next ejaculation of steam and water was.
Well Ginny comes running up and says "It's going to go in about ten minutes. " So we head on down to locate a strategic position that will be ideal for pictures and not getting soaked in sulfur water. Thing is, we were the only ones down there. And this IS the biggest attraction at YS. Curious. So we wait. Turns out It was actually AN HOUR and ten minutes from going off. Thankfully a kind soul mentioned that fact to us, so we didn't have to be cold for too terribly long.
I thought one of the pre-req's to being an adult was being able to read a clock. She's going to kick my ass for this. Anyway the obligatory picture of OF is also included. I'm going to take down the older pics so the load time is decreased. WOTD: atrabilious \at-ruh-BIL-yuhs\, adjective: 1. Melancholic; gloomy. 2. Irritable; ill-natured; peevish. Minerva Terrace Also Minerva Terrace I Think 'The Who' Said It Best Yeah, Yeah... 
