  Guest loser Thena gives us Blurp .  because that was the noise it made when you tried to get it out of the saucepan.  Step 1:  Version A:  Prepare a box of the cheapest no- frills macaroni and pseudocheese according to package directions,
 except you can leave out the butter if you don't have any;  OR Version B:  Cook the noodles from a package of Ramen,  then drain them and add as much of the seasoning packet as you can stand to the damp noodles ( they look like brains,  don't they?
 OR Version C:  Discovering that you have no ramen or macaroni- and- food- coloring left in the cabinet,  scrape together the dregs of three or four kinds of dried pasta,
 you know,  the stuff that's been left in the bag forever because there was too much to throw out but not enough to actually bother cooking?  Well,  dump it all together and cook it,  drain,  then add a can of cream-
of- anything soup,  and if you're feeling frisky,  one of the following:  curry powder,  chili powder,
 garlic salt,  italian salad dressing,  lemon pepper,  barbecue flavoring,  bouillon ( mixing too many of these is not recommended)
 You can eat it at this point but for genuine blurp,  continue to Step 2:  To whatever version of pasta plus vaguely flavored sauce,  add some combination of freezer- burnt vegetables ( usually peas or broccoli)
 leftover meat,  or that little chunk of cheese you found in the secret compartment in the fridge ( making sure to remove all mold that isn't supposed to be there;  if this leaves you with no cheese,  skip it.  You might have to add a little butter,
 oil or water if the result looks like it's going to stick to the pan.  You are aiming for a texture wetter than cookie dough and stickier than soup.  When everything you threw in there is heated through,  and the cheese is all melted and gooey,  eat it straight from the pan over the stove,  because if you try to serve it into a dish like the civilized person your mother swore you would never grow up into,
 it will make a really disgusting noise.  It actually tastes pretty good,  though.
