  Supah Easy Hummus Ingredients: One can garbanzo beans At least part of a bulb of garlic. Or, if you're going for total loser, a jar of that minced/crushed garlic A lemon, if you really care A jar of tahini sauce (you can find it most places now. take a look in the 'ethnic' sections of your major-chain grocery store. ) Olive oil Paprika Carrots and/or pita bread and/or bagel chips and/or sourdough bread Open can of garbanzo beans. Leave lid in place as you strain water into a good-sized bowl. Dump beans sans bean water into blender.
Open jar of tahini. Take a spoon and glop in one or two spoonfuls into blender. Ratio? I dunno. Go easy on the tahini. It tastes bland and all, but it really takes over if you use too much.
I'd say if you've got a medium-sized can of garbanzos (chickpeas, in case you don't know they're the same thing), a heaping tablespoon (or big spoon out of your flatware drawer) should do you fine for now. Take a little of the bean water and pour it into the blender. Not too much. Take garlic cloves, like maybe two or three smallish ones for one can of garbanzos, crush them, put mushy garlic in blender. If you're using pre-crushed stuff, about a teaspoon is good. Or, like, twice as much as what you'd put on your toothpaste if the garlic were toothpaste.
Remember, you can taste it later and add more if you need. Blend it! Aww yeah, blend blend blend. Get a long-handled spoon to mush the whole beans down in case it all gets mucked up and stuck down by the blades. Add a little more bean water if it's really cement-like, but not too much! Blend until it's the consistency of oatmeal, and then squeeze the juice of 1/3 of a nice-sized lemon into it.
Blend until fairly smooth, but lumps are OK. Scoop hummus onto a shallow bowl or platter, and smoosh it with the flat of a spoon until it's all even - you can get fancy and kinda make ridged patterns across the top like you'd do with frosting a cake. Take your bottle of olive oil and sploosh a little across the surface of the hummus. Not too much! Then dust with paprika. Wow, it looks so nice! Scoop it up with baby carrots or pita bread, or even toast up some sourdough and use it as a spread on that.
You can even make sandwiches with it, you know, cut up a red onion, get some sprouts, a slice of a soft white cheese, maybe some turkey ... 
