  Tomato and Basil Sandwiches You'll need: * Some mayo (or Nayo, but ick). * Four slices of nice soft white bread.
If your grocery store has that "Kid's Choice" white or the equivalent, grab it. * One big red ripe tomato, sliced into approximately 6-8 slices. Don't buy that 6-pack, 99-cent, picked-green-off-the-vine shit. Pay the god-forsaken extra 20 cents for a real tomato. The best case scenario is waiting until the beginning of July and purchasing some lovely red home-grown gems from a vegetable stand, much like the one my grandparents have every year.
In desperation, grocery store tomatoes must be tolerated. * Swiss cheese. One bread-sized slice is enough for one sandwich, so you're going to need two. * Approximately 10-12 basil leaves. Fresh basil can be found in the produce section of your local supermarket. If it cannot, you should plot a store bombing and then shop at Trader Joe's before making this recipe. Instructions: Put some mayo on one side of those four slices of that delicious bread. On two slices, put a big slice of Swiss cheese.
On the other two slices, arrange 5-6 leaves of basil each to cover bread, just as if it were lettuce. On top of the basil, lay 3-4 thick slices of tomato. Slap those sandwich halves together and eat! You made two sandwiches because that is how many you will want to eat, minimum. Go take a good look in the mirror. You're not a loser anymore, babes. 
