  Stew Acquire a pound or so of stew meat from your local warehouse-type grocery sore. Slice it into pieces small enough that you won't choke on and massage a little generic seasoning on them. Let it sit in some burgundy from a box and red wine vinaigrette salad dressing overnight. Every few hours or whenever you think of it, pick up the tupperware with the meat and shake it, shake it, shake it like polaroid picture. Sometime later the next day clean up your pot o'crock and dump in half a bag of sliced carrots, a few chopped up celery stalks, diced red and white onions, and a chopped potato. 4 cups of water and a bag of Knorr soup mix follow. Ignore. 2 hours. Toss the meat in. Watch everything turn purple.
Ignore for a couple more hours. Make the egg noodles seperately. I tried to just toss those in with the stew once and they disintegrated into some sort of beef flavored paste. Gross. Remove about 3 1/2 cups of the juice in the strew. You'll put this in a pot with some flour until you reduce it into gravy. Serve on top of the noodles and maybe with some of those crescent rolls from a can. 
